Seeing Things

Seeing Things

 

 

fatal seclusion

there are days of tears

nights of bad dreams

microwave meals

from a broken oven

with a bad heart

 

your exit

was my entry

into a very cold room

in a quiet house

of pain and remembrance

love is on shaky shutters

 

they are closed

shadows of surmises

what could have been

disregarded with Monday's trash

through the window I see angels

I try to pick you out

 

before the wings

are compacted

and the ticking inside

stops.

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/21/25

Reviews

[Pallavi]

I feel so sad after reading your poem!
The way you have put forth your emotion, it just makes me think of my Grandma, whom I loved the most, and I still do.

Really wish if I could just see her just one more time! Knowing it's not possible in this realm.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your understanding review.
j.

[.]

I really liked the first scene. It's an imagery that perfectly describes that desperation and the ending inside of a person. right words for sure... The second verse is deeper and captures emotions more. I read over and over again... To the end my reading experience got a little scattered but I focused on the words more, so its on me. And a very great last stanza...
Woah. This poem haunted me! Thank you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your in-depth review, Beren.
It is always important to poets when readers have reactions to what they write.
j.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Okay you've got me, but the first sanza what buck Roger where I can't place it, second one what a horror show, okay were paranoina in the mix, okay I agree we need to react.

Thank you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Mauricio.
j.

[Mauricio Montoya]

You are always an enjoyable read.

[Chris Shaw]

your exit
was my entry
into a very cold room

Deeply felt words here, some partings stay with us forever. That is what I am picking up here. Absolute heartache j.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your words, Chris.
j.

[DIVYA]

There's utter heartbreak in your words. The kind that makes one want to stay shut in a dark space for endless time. Where the physical stops mattering and we begin to look for angels, for a higher sign because this world pains us so. What troubles me the most is that what meant the world to us at one point can end up meaning so little. The concluding line makes me think that we carry our major heartbreaks to our graves. And that's so sad.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for your understanding words, Divya.
j.