A Western Rose in Doubt (a senryu)

A Western Rose in Doubt (a senryu)

a heart in shambles

aches like severed brambles do

tumbleweed words plea

erin-cilberto

8/29/25

Reviews

[Desert Knave]

The last line just stops my whole thought process ... wow. Nicely done. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Jim.
j.

[DIVYA]

Such a strong sense of pain conveyed by your words.

"tumbleweed words plea"

Just awesome!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Divya,
j.

[Buddhistboy73]

A deeply heartfelt senryu here....:)
You share this story well....
Glad you shared this...

BB73

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, BB73...
j.

[redzone]

Does a western rose by any other name still smell as sweet?? Not if it's an American rose containing a fascist heart and blood on its hands. The idea of tumbleweed as it is blown here and there, reminds me of what my brother said to me yesterday. "I'm going on a 9 week European vacation, but I may not be back for 3 years." The math doesn't add up but the sentiment is one that holds true for many.

I like your Senryu, Jacob. There is the structure but also an added internal rhyme and rhythm. And sorry for most likely taking you senryu way far away from your intended meaning.
-Curt

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Many have that idea that your brother is pondering.
Thank you, Curt.
j.