Punch line

Punch line

 

 

the inside joke

is creeping within your skin

trying to surface

 

you could be so gorgeous

without the pretense

already surfaced

 

honest lovers

have withered away

before you

 

they were your last laugh

but the humor was lost

on their last breath

 

you could be so gorgeous

if you weren't 

well, you.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/6/25

Reviews

[redd Brick Keshner]

What struck me here is the tension between beauty and pretense.
The “inside joke” feels less like humor and more like irony;
that the very thing hiding beneath the surface is what could make someone radiant,
if only they let it through. The repetition of “you could be so gorgeous”
reads like both admiration and lament, as if the speaker sees potential that keeps slipping away.
The final line lands like a sting: the tragedy that the mask and the self have become indistinguishable.
top marks, j. 🕊️🙏
Freds.

[Ms claws]

Brick! That's a perfect review! Nice photo!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your insightful review, Freds.
j.

[Desert Knave]

Bizarre how quickly I thought of someone who was holding a press conference just yesterday. Very vivid imagery here. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Ha Ha...yes, I suppose it would almost fit that person...she is unbelievable.