a new bottle for my bag

a new bottle for my bag

i am not a bum

i retort as people pass by me

shaking their heads

at my shame

i am not a bum

i retort as i steal a swig

from my paper sack

and the bottle neck 

that protrudes

from my shame

i am not a bum

but thanks for the five-spot

it will help me 

to just misstep towards the diner

and wind up in the liquor mart

purchasing a new bottle 

for my bag

i am not a bum

quit shaking your head 

at me in disdain

you're not better

and my shame 

is not contagious

you won't catch it

if get near enough

to toss me a bill or two

i am not a bum

just off my game

temporarily 

someday our roles will change

you will be on the street

with your paper

sack

with your own shame

i won't shake my head

but will walk right up to you

and put a five-spot

directly in your hand

and smile

hoping you won't misstep

the diner

like i did.

erin-cilberto

1/21/26

Reviews

[Lighthouse]

This is kind of a story about not only addiction, but the haves, and the have-nots. There's anger and defiance in his demeanor. I'll bet there's a touch of fear in the ones passing him by. He's not just an example, he's a warning. Addictions take many forms - some destructive, some beneficial. We take our pick through our choices in life.
Relic

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Spot on, Relic...Haves get help, have-nots die in the gutter. Who matters most?

[ThisSiteSucks]

We all have to pull ourselves out of the pit the same way...
One hand over the other
Never letting go

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Absolutely, Eternity...absolutely.

[ThisSiteSucks]

thanks J
...........

[Michael Sun Bear]

As an addict myself I am particularly interested in, and sensitive to, other’s writing of addiction. When an addict is going into withdrawal, whether from alcohol or other drugs, there is nothing that person needs more than a fix. I have always felt it not just a kindness, but a duty to help out a street person in need of a few bucks. I enjoyed your poem, it’s well written, creative, and I agree with the sentiments expressed. I am curious if you wrote this from your own experiences or simply from imagination.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Partly from what happened with a couple people very close to me. Not my own. Thank you for your kind words...coming from someone with experience of these hard times, I appreciate them very much.
j.

[Curly Grace]

This poem walks with a bruised kind of dignity, the voice worn but unbroken, insisting on its own humanity even as the world looks away. The repetition becomes a pulse of defiance, a reminder that shame is a story others project, not a truth he owes them. And that final turn offering compassion instead of judgment lifts the whole piece into something tender and unexpectedly generous. It’s raw, honest, and deeply human.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Curly Grace.
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This reminded me of the Gary Oldman character in the movie Interstate 60 who only wants honesty from his fellow man. But not many people desire honesty. They want the most comfortable lie or the one that will cause the least resistance or friction. Is it a kindness to contribute to an addict's addiction, an enablement or even a sin? Everything we want is not what is best for us or as Kipling noted, "Some folks simply do not know what is good for them" There, but for the grace of God, go I, is an empathetic phrase but not one that offers answers or solutions to real problems. The addictions though are usually an escape from having to deal with real problems, or real life; slow suicide labeled as a coping mechanism. I like how the wino or drunk here makes the claim that "someday our roles will change" or a reversal of fortunes which he sees as justification to not feel ashamed of his circumstance. But the lie is obvious because the only person ever making a claim to equality is one that feels most assuredly inferior in some fashion. You never hear a rich man tell a bum, "I'm just as good as you are" Pretty women don't say such things to plain women or the well dressed to those in clothes from the discount charity store. The claim to equality then is a mere stinging reminder of their inadequacy, whether actual or perceived. But the hope of reversal still lends false integrity to the bearer. I enjoyed the read, a most interesting write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are so right, Fabian. Very many do NOT want honesty...they want camouflage of the truth. Thank you.
j.

[D. Mansfield]

"someday our roles will change" or a reversal of fortunes which he sees as justification to not feel ashamed of his circumstance. But the lie is obvious because the only person ever making a claim to equality is one that feels most assuredly inferior in some fashion. You never hear a rich man tell a bum, "I'm just as good as you are" Pretty women don't say such things to plain women or the well dressed to those in clothes from the discount charity store. The claim to equality then is a mere stinging reminder of their inadequacy, whether actual or perceived. But the hope of reversal still lends false integrity to the bearer" Fabian I'd never seem this from that point of view. So true

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear J
even if you were a bum, you’re the kindest one around…. and who cares about shame …. nothing to be shameful about….we all go off the limb a bit, it’s part of our psyche … we all need to tipsy a bit
wonderful piece!
Warmly, B🌷

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are so nice to say that...thank you, Betty.
j.

[Soren]

We all make mistakes and our vision of ourselves is not what others see. Tainted by desire, thirst and shame we all make our excuses and maybe just maybe we are right. Good write Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Soren.
j.

[Soren]

Most welcome Jacob

[BuzzyB]

This poem reaches out to the reader. We can never lose with kindness and generousity. I wish everyone remembered that. Powerful words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Wish the same BB...thanks.
j

[D. Mansfield]

Jacob this is fiction I'm assuming, but not judging. Missing the diner and ending up in liquor store, would pale to the depths my addictions took me. Well traveled roads. Good poem

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Not for some people very close to me.
Thank you for your understanding D. and
I am glad you survived that road.
j.

[Thomas W Case]

This poem stares straight back at the world and refuses to blink, shame and dignity sharing the same breath.
It’s gritty, human, and generous in the end—letting compassion have the last word without asking for forgiveness.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you for the kind review, Thomas.
j.