the crayon adapts

the crayon adapts

 

 

i saw the thaw

but felt the ice increase

in the lines on your face 

 

i shivered

deep in my heart

then colored outside those lines

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/31/26

Reviews

[Vol]

Jacob,
An elegant poem indeed, Jacob! Simple, sweet, sharp as a knife, and plunged between the lines into El Corizone. Hmmm... or maybe a speeding bullet. Either way makes me shiver!
Vol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your response, Vol,
j.

[Kady R.]

Hii Jacobbb!!

Wooww this is such a clever poem. What stands out to me the most is "colored outside those lines". I have a tendency to color within the lines (its my perfectionism) but to color outside of the lines is as if the protagonist thinks outside of the box. They are not bound by the rules of the lines therefore they color outside them. At least this is what I got from this part of the poem.

Thanks for sharing another great one!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your words..and I understand the whole perfectionism thing for sure.
I am too old now to stay inside them anymore.
j.

[Soren]

Such depth in this metaphor Jacob it feels so familiar having seen it on peoples faces thousands of times and indeed in such circumstances the only good recourse is to color outside the lines. A wonderful write that in its brevity conveys so much about relationships

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I appreciate your words, Soren. Thank you.
j.

[Soren]

You are always most welcome my friend

[Desert Knave]

I have always found that my own coloring, inside or outside of the lines, was the color my heart liked best. I think that's how to get by as close to happy as I can. ~Jim

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, we can only get close to happy, but that has to suffice...thanks, Jim.
j.

[Lorry]

I hope you remembered to stick your tongue out to the side for maximum concentration Jacob.
Colouring outside the lines should be made compulsory! 😀

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Do they still make flesh colored crayons? I know they still make heart colored. Thanks, Lorry.
j.

[Michael Sun Bear]

You colored outside the lines writing this. Outside mediocrity and into superior excellence. In other words, great poem my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are too kind, my friend.
I cannot take much credit for my writing...I am simply a conduit who takes the words when they appear in my mind.
j.