The Keeper

something a little abstract yet deep

Holding a thousand secrets deep within
I am the keeper of knowledge and sin
Entrusted by the fathers of a past, now grown cold
Privy to all those stories never told

Love was just a price to be paid
The secrets untold would not be relayed
Never again will time be at hand
To unravel the truths you can't understand

I am the one who made you travel this road alone
I am responsible for the seeds you have sown
Leaving you here all tattered and forlorn
I am the conscience you hold as a victim of scorn

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I get the sense that the speaker of the poem is either a dark seductress or a godly figure that is punishing someone who has been disobedient.

My question is, why has that past grown cold? Is it because the person being spoken to has gone astray, or maybe because many people have gone astray?

On another note, I think the rhyme you used was effective. I think that it would be nice to see you experiment a little with a few internal rhymes though, mabe between lines three and four of stanza two.

My favorite part of the piece is the imagery from the third and fourth lines. It is nice to be able to imagine what those ancient fathers are like.

[Silver_Moon]

I am the one who made you travel this road alone
I am responsible for the seeds you have sown
Leaving you here all tattered and forlorn
I am the conscience you hold as a victim of scorn

-- Dark... like this stanza... it is very haunting..
Good write! :)