A Seasonal Sonnet

A children's poem.

When Summer’s heat does sting like lemon drops,

And I can hear the calming brush of Rain

Upon my clear and blissful windowpane,

Rain tells the fever ev'rywhere to stop.

But who, I wonder, tells the frosty Clouds,

That it is time for lemon drops again,

The Sun would like to dance some now and then,

A wintr’y Spring could never be allowed?

 

He is the jolly Spring himself, of course,

Who tells the chilling Ice, “The answer’s no”.

“Come quickly or I’ll have to use some force.”

He says, “It’s finally time for you to go.”

And so, the season Spring does now enforce,

Of course, is Winter and his bitter Snow.

 

 

Author's Note

Reviews would be greatly appreciated :)

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This is a fun bit of whimsy you've written here! And I like the fact that instead of being all clumped together as sonnets usually are, you've made two powerfully imagined stanzas. It reads well, the iambs hit the right notes, you've mixed in a bit of Shakespearean lingo with the "does" as modifiers, and the musicality is absolutely stupendous with strong imagery to match. And the "enforce/Of course" is pretty clever.....although, "enforce" may not mean what you want it to mean in this sentence....what you've said essentially in the final couplet is that Spring establishes Winter by force, when you really intend to mean Spring expels him or something of the like (....Spring could enforce natural law on "Winter and his bitter snow"....maybe you could play around with that since you're already personifying the seasons themselves). Apart from that one little detail, this is fantastic! Well done!

[Ethan]

Im sorry I missed this. Thank you very much for your wonderful review

[Anjali]

This is really good!! The imagination and personification used here is just beautiful! I really liked it. Such a creative and fresh poem! Keep writing!

[Ethan]

Thank you :)))

[Anjali]

No problem!

[wordman]

candy canes and lemon drops,a care free world

[Ethan]

Yes, indeed. Thanks wordman

[David Adedokun]

nice one...i like the way you articulated your words. keep it up

[Ethan]

Thanks David

[rowan.taylorrr]

how does your writing keep getting better?? like god, this is so good!!! i want more!

[Ethan]

Haha thank youuuuuu

[Raven Moonchild]

This poem is wonderful, Ethan. :D

[Ethan]

Thanks very much :P

[Drew Harvey]

I know positively nothing about poetry, but I can say I enjoyed this piece. I cannot offer any constructive criticism or words of wisdom, but I definitely enjoyed reading this.

[Ethan]

Thank you :)