Line Art

it is a lot of heat
this aching
feeling in my throat
bubbling up

 

i wring out my eye
my pillow
a sponge
mascara-marked and soggy

in the morning it looks
like line art
on rice paper
of trees, trees, trees

 

there are lovers
laughing
there are friends
making love in the branches

 

it is a lot of heat
upon waking
when all I have are twigs
stuck in my hair

Reviews

[Olivera]

Intriguing. Imaginative. I like it.

[[untitled]]

I like this. It's simple, almost stark, yet very visual and thought provoking. Mascara lines on the pillow-- intriguing image.

[Boonrassi]

it is a lot of heat
this aching
feeling in my throat
bubbling up

//one might avoid so many ing words... the root is more potent, has more snap.

i wring out my eye

//marvelous powerful image.. killer.
my fave in the work.

last two lines are utra nice too..
thanks,
T

[B. Lapinski]

nicely done

[Charisma Moonfairy]

Very well written and the visuals make the story brighter. I look forward to reading more of your writing when I have the time.