Insinceriously

For everything I've done, I've always kept a smile to hide the real.  Four days ago I put the smile away and my pace at work has changed.  If not blank, which apparently looks angry, I have a seemingly determined look on my face.  Which, coincidentally, looks pissed off.  I've gone a little further beyond my work load and still kept going.  Today I had a six month job performance evaluation and got a fifty cent raise.  My coworkers think there is something wrong because I no longer joke around.  Lose the smile, gain the performance.  Lose the friends, gain the respect.  Sad to say, I can pull that off.  A true friend will understand.
I'm on book four of A Song of Ice and Fire.  Actually, I'm not that smart.  I'm listening to the audiobook.  That's the benefit of working overnight.  The one benefit.  It's pissing me off because the company changed the narrator.  His accent is wrong, his pronunciation is wrong, and it's making me lose interest.  So I switch to music.  F*****g dubstep is wrecking me.
I started watching Deathnote since I can get that s**t from the library.  Someone told me about that show a few years back, and I just now got into it.  Maybe I truly am just a seriously slow learner.  Not that you, the reader, are going to go out and watch it, but the undertone of the story is pretty freaking deep.
It's one forty eight in the afternoon.  I'm going to go to bed.
With the smile I won't show at work anymore.

Reviews

[Priscilla Sayers]

The smile is what shows the World you can NOT be defeated. So DO IT because the face you show is displaying your thoughts that at this time must be concealed.
Never dumb yourself down for your intelligence is obvious...
Strength lies in Silence, Will lives deep within an will not be snuffed out even when we think it has become too much.
I will be back tracking through your pieces as now I can....

[Priscilla Sayers]

Haven't read it yet...
But I already know the emotions toiling around in your mind....
Chin up! Its time for determination, for fight, for being prepared...
Love to you Sweetie...
XX