Perfect Suicide

lyrics

I'm thinking of the future when
I'm living in the past just watching
the sunrise up over the bay
I dont know when I will go but time will tell

I still remain I might seem faint
but my light is still shining
I'm not going out theres too much
to handle but I'll put up the fight

Release me please release me please
cuz I have not been found but
I'm bound on this never ending journey
we call life
just throw it all away for something insane
Am I lost are you still with me


Lets run away before I get old
your wasting my time but your
my perfect suicide I hope are love stays alive its a windy November
and I'm looking forward to December
and the other seasons that pass us by
I'd give it all up just for you

I keep looking in the mirror wondering
Who I am I could be anything but it seems it falls apart

right in front of me is this the ending or a new beginning

I dont really know
but I'm writing all wrongs just to prove myself

Your my perfect suicide

Author's Note

tell me if they are good I need some feedback

Reviews

[OMGMike]

Okay. All in constructive critique.

Spelling and grammar could be corrected, but to each their own, of course.

A picture expressed in these lyrics of how the suicide could be perfect would be nice, or an idea of how it may end. Like, the type of suicide (i.e. - poisoning, hanging, betrayal, whatever) could be expressed or hinted in a way that could bring closure to the 'scene'. As of myself, I'm a gorey individual so I like detail.

Also, what genre in music could these lyrics be affiliated into?

That's all for me.

[Nyida Strong]

Not as poetically fulfilling as I would have imagined. Lyrics are always so hard to review because part of the important context is missing. I'm sure there's a way to up load this to make it a true song so that we can hear and read this in all it's glory. I would imagine it to be a slower piece. Still in all, I rather enjoyed it.

I like how you've used the idea of suicide not as an ending, but a way to a new begining. Interesting.

N. Strong

[Sarah]

I really enjoyed this.^^ Definitely much more optomistic than the typical suicide poem, so props for the originality! I loved the lines "I'm bound on this never ending journey / we call life / just throw it all away for something insane / Am I lost are you still with me" Nice use of rhyme, whether it was intentional or not. XD Great job & keep writing!

[CJ]

it is good.....very nice...if it is supposed to be lyrics to a song then i would listen to it!!!

[Lindsay Lukens]

I absolutely LOVE the last line of this poem!!