tick tock

inner chatter

tick tock 

tick tock 

tick tock

hammers the clock

in a room empty, cold

vibrating the tympanum of my inner ear

beating out in code:

"you're not,"

 "cannot," 

"you're not,"

 "cannot"

those small hollow bones 

rattle inside my head

can't turn them off so instead

i measure each shallow breath

compressed inside my chest while weighing

the heaviness of an ebbing afternoon

tick tock 

tick tock 

tick tock...take stock

my ghosts are withered blooms

wavering in mirrors i pass 

cooped up one-dimensional specters

captured in glass

elbow to elbow with

a plethora of secrets

pervading the gloom

sister, mother 

lover, wife ...

overcrowding empty rooms

my dismal reflections

plainly lack style 

blurring the contours of my face

obliterating my half-hearted smile

souless golems lost in a space

rife with self denial

tick tock 

tick tock

tick tock

damned restless clock

hammering it's relentless tune 

ratchets, cogs, and spinning wheels 

echoing in empty rooms

ratchets, cogs and spinning wheels

dragging me to ruin

Reviews

[Ryan Halterman]

Very pretty in a sad way. I never cared for mechanical clocks because they do things to your mind if you aren't on guard at all times against their schemes and trickery. To think we are a higher being than something in charge of measuring the passage of time is fool hearty and it will use ones ignorance of its power against them. Yes anyone about to spend a night alone with only the tick tock of a clock has sat down to a battle of wits with the devil himself. Good poem it contains a truth that lives in us all but few of us put into words. I am glad you did...The clocks will not be pleased you let out their secret though.

[felioness]

Thank you for your read, witty charm and subtle humour. Very much enjoyed

[felioness]

What a wonderful write my dear.

Superb movement, have many clockmakers in the family. As they always ask, why I am not wearing one.... lol again as many know, I do never wear watches, because that is forbidden as a dislike of time, yes I am, a time hater :) (the only thing I hate) and I feel your equality here. Nicely done!
Tick Tocks, can give nerves to people ;)


E.L.

[felioness]

Thanks so much for reading my work. I really appreciate it and promise to read and comment on at least one of yours tonight!

You're so very welcome dear poet!

[Alistair (Ali)]

Again, another great piece and I empathize, it sometimes seems a ticking clock somehow prises thoughts from slumber...and some thoughts are best left sleeping.
Heart beats and clocks, the markers of our very existence.

Great write, thank you.

[felioness]

Wow two reads, I am in heaven! Do not hesitate to point out any areas you think could use editing. I am open to constructive assistance!!!

[Alistair (Ali)]

No Worries!..I really think this one works well, and I would do nought to change it.
Constructive assistance, is a tricky area, because often the verse comes from a deeply personal space, that an outward source cannot rightly know.
One can comment on form and structure, but to me, this sometimes seem to detract from the overall breathing of the piece..( if you see what I mean!)..and this piece breathes like clockwork.

[felioness]

Thank you so much!