My regrets to you.

 

My Regrets to you

 

 

With close to four decades of life behind me, I’ve lived long enough to have a pile of regrets that sit squarely on my shoulders, making it difficult at times to move forward. If I had the opportunity to return to the past and share my hindsight, with my pre-pubescent self, I’d warn her of my pitfalls, hopefully helping her to avoid making the same mistakes I made, there by never making them myself.

 

     “Hello, young, the glass is half full, me. For the past thirteen years, your world has revolved around Grandma G. When you learn of Grandma’s fate, please continue to hold her position in your life as important as the sun is to the galaxy. Please don’t do what I did and allow all the other menial things in your ego-centric life to be more important to you than spending Grandma’s last days with her. Trust me. If you do, you will always regret it.”

 

     “Young, thin version of me, the next order of business is to heed this warning: AVOID ALL MEN NAMED TOM, especially if they’re eight years older than you, tend bar, and their life long ambition is to score their next “high”. A vampire’s life does not suit you, and no matter how much “potential” you think he has, you will not be able to change him. Please, save yourself two years of heartache and don’t try.”

 

     “And lastly young me with your natural hair color and perky b***s, if you absolutely insist on getting your degree in interior design, then after graduation, ‘GO FOR IT’. Do not use your head when accepting a job offer, use your heart. Have faith in yourself-your talents and abilities. Don’t worry about the student loans or car payments. Follow your dreams. Don’t waste six years of your life working your a*s off to graduate magna cum laude to never use the damn degree. If you don’t think you can do it, then go into teaching. You will find one of the greatest feelings of fulfillment you have as a parent is when your child’s eyes light up because you took the time to teach them.”

 

     “Excuse me, older, flabbier, me, if you’d made different choices, would you still be at the same place you are today? Would you still have met your husband and given birth to your children?”

 

     “Young me, you have insight beyond your teenage years. It did take the heartbreaking experience of Tom for me to pull my life together, finally choose a major, and transfer to a different university where I met my future husband. Initially, it was my interior design major and his building construction management major and our love of all things architectural that was the common denominator in our relationship. Most importantly, my children are a composition of both of us. Without him, there’d be no them. And them, I do not regret.”

 

     “Young wrinkle-free me, one mistake I cannot justify remains. Therefore, my best advice to you is no matter how many transgressions you make along the way, seek forgiveness. Most importantly, learn to forgive yourself. I only hope that Grandma knows how important she was to the older, wiser, wrinkled me.”

Author's Note

Written from the following prompt: What would you say to yourself? Write an imaginary scene between you at your current age and you at a younger age. If you don't want to use dialogue, you don't have to.