the only thing my father left me.

i wanted it to be you

i wanted there to be meaning

everytime i looked at my calloused feet

reddened with dead trails, gravel engravings

 

i wanted it to be true

that you were too broken to lead me

i thought if i hurt and you hurt

that our papyrus pathings would be complete

 

dad, i wanted there to be meaning

 

i hated who i was, more so who you weren't

i despise the spite that made me so strong

i despise the lies i told myself, that you weren't coming home

even though you didn't.

 

i hate who i became, and the understanding as well

i need to blame you forever, so my pilgrimage has fuel

dad i wanted you to leave me, and never return

looking at our shared skin, you never did

 

and i dont know how long i can be alone.

Reviews

[Grumpie]

You are very introspective, I think this is the true beauty of creativity- it allows everything to shine forward without ego to hide behind. I too have struggled to forgive, but through writing I found acceptance of myself separate from their pain. Find your light, it is never too late.

[Everett Dulin]

Thank you for your kind words. I think the problem is the question on who I become once I forgive.

[Grumpie]

There is power in all human beings, as we have the ability to choose who we become. One side is darkness, but the other a carrier of happiness. The two must find balance inside. I too struggle with questioning, but I've learned it holds no true weight. Only action decides fate. I wish you much strength on your journey ahead, good luck my friend!