mirror number 5

there's a chemical equation, a cosmic joke

serotonin receptors, where i've been how i'll go

i was once a person, now i nod and choke

the lights are on in a vacant hotel

i think it's the funniest thing, i laugh and croak

a realization of nothing, nothing at all

my brain was blended, my peripherals rolling out

without a break in cackling, my face felt a crack

it started peeling

that's when i really laughed

you should've seen it,

nothing under the cracks

a chemical reaction, ssris, amphetamines

i laugh and i chip, i break and i scream

there wasn't a problem to fix

there wasn't a word to call it

something how i was never there at all

a hallowing act of a punchline not told

ssris and dosages, so i can't laugh at the joke

i’m a hallowed mask of a mask before

and the irony has me seething

because i still pay the fees

in this empty hotel

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

The lights are on but no one is home.
I see mental illness and the aloneness it brings...Dosages just keep happening, but the mind stays hidden.
I may be off in my interpretation but this poem really spoke to me.
I am still pretty sane, but there are times I feel that I am as good as not.
j.