SUBLIME

SUBLIME

Gazing into your clear night eyes,
Is like staring at the lucid stars,
Lost in the precious moment,
Wishing it would forever last,

A blind mime said to me once,
To hang on to times like these,
Serene and adolescent pure,
Too few and far between,

“Give in to your desires”, he said,
Kiss her gentle, silky smooth skin,
Raise her to dance amidst the clouds,
Set her body and mind ablaze,

Make her tremble in ecstasy,
Hold her tight in your warm embrace,
Let her come back down to earth,
A night neither of you will forget.

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

You've painted this poem with a lot of emotions, and it shows!

"Raise her to dance amidst the clouds"
is a particularly eye catching sentence, in a poem full of eye catching sentences.

I wouldn't say there is much to be criticized in this write, but the meter could probably have been better, which would have added to the aesthetics of the write.

Very well done!

[alesuriko]

Wonderfully vivid with a great story teller quality to it. Good display of emotion. I enjoyed reading this.

[OkieWonKenokie]

So much of a description. Kind of makes you think more and it gives you a bit of an image of what's going on. Great Job!

[.]

Sublime is such a wonderful word! and so was this piece

[maddie marshall]

Beautifully written
well done

[Cassiopia Summers]

The only thing I ponder is the blind mime, What is the meaning with this?

All in all, this is a great poem, great job. :]

[lyssilou]

I love this it speaks to me and makes me think you got the real meaning of this

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Such lovely verse............I am entranced.......

[Snapdragon]

This has a quality to it that makes the reader hold their breath as they read it. It's also good advice to love and cherish all the moments but especially the quiet, serene ones. This is really lovely and very memorable.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

mmmm i love the image of the blind mime imparting earthly advice. the whole piece is such a phantasmigorical dream.. softly patterned, gently spoken.. dreamy and delicious!

[floarealbastra10]

good work