Cloudy, Cloudy Day

every once in a while
the sky above the plains
got crowded

I'd lie on the land
that was unfortunate enough
to have never kissed
a raindrop

I'd lie amidst
failed produce
and broken expectations

but the
traffic of clouds above me
would make me forget
empathy

I'd point
at my favourite cloud
hoping that
no one was looking

not because it was embarrassing
but because I wanted to keep
all beautiful things
to myself

and it was in that moment
that I'd realise

even the clouds take shape,
when will my life?

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is turn-my-head-around writing! I was reading along, feeling stunned at how fresh you say each thing & how each analogy sparks a ton of ideas in my mind about what it could mean & how it relates to life. My mind was having a tug-of-war with my eyes, which wanted to read on, but my mind wanted to stop & ponder. There are huge universal implications to what you're saying here. This could symbolize looking up to God. It could be about feeling as tho we're on "the outside" looking in at everyone else's success or abundance of clouds or thirst-quenching rain. This is an example of how you express the most ordinary idea in the most extraordinary way: "land unfortunate enough to have never kissed a raindrop" -- that is the crux of what poetry is about & to top it off, it SOUNDS so delicious, definitely lyrical poetry, as well as wise in depth & meaning! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Zoya]

Wow Margie, amazing analogies! Thank you so much for your ever so kind words. Always appreciated :) *hugs back*

[Chris Shaw]

Really liked your poetic expression here. Great imagery too. Well penned Zoya.

Chris

[Zoya]

Thank you so much, Chris! Appreciate it :)