Immortality

A poem on defeating Death

When Death opens his door for me, 

After all the time I've spent knocking,

I'll promptly slap mortality in the face,

And turn about and just keep walking.

I'll shout to him from hiding places,

"I'm much too wise for you!"

For I don't need a stick, a stone, a sheet,

To stay upright and flee

I know how to keep myself

from a mundane fate, 

So neither fire, knife, nor disease,

Can end my clever life,

Because my presence in itself 

Is known as immortality, darlings.

Author's Note

I know the rhythm is completely broken...
But I couldn't figure out a way to fix it =/
Other than that, your opinions?

Reviews

[Crow]

A fantastic heartfelt piece of art. I think it reads well, a poem does not always have to rhyme or have complete rhythm to flow. Projection of imagery is done through your words, this is your verbal artistic pallette of colors.

A wondrous write with a message accentuated by slightly darker undertones.

Well done!

[Coyote Poetry]

A interesting poem. Death is a sneaky character. Best to stay on the right road and hope he can't find you. I like the strength and the desire of your words. Being young. You should feel like life is forever. Thank you for a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Miele1228]

First off poems don't necessarily have to have a rhythm so you don't have to worry about that. Second this is realllyy good and i really like the subject. Good job(:

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Ahhh the charm of youth. I remember when I was young and immortal. I would have all of the minutes that I would ever need. This poem offers an interesting juxtaposition to my poem ... Minutes

[Ben Taylor]

Well, the Harry Potter reference (" a stick, a stone, a sheet") made my day lol. Also, a consistent rhythm is by no means necessary for an excellent poem, as you have so adeptly shown here. Nice job.