Too much?

I don't understand
surely we're both on the same land?

Couples do and couples don't
I thought holding you would keep us afloat

Eyes wide, relaxed and sleepy
I really hope I wasn't creepy

Internal love will have to do
You stand there with me looking at you

Eyes small, dazed and fazed
I really wanted me to be your craze

External love just for one
because unfortunately we're not under the same sun

Reviews

[Mrs H]

Typo: Cone on Dan means... Come on, Daniel!!

[Mrs H]

Reread this one today. Love the last line most today. When are you going to start concentrating in class again? Cone on, Dan!

[Mrs H]

My favourite for today!!! Original - unusual. So vulnerable. Love the 4th line. Line 8 doesn't work for me 100%. The word 'unfortunately', strictly speaking, should be between commas. Really a nice poem, Daniel. I'm, once again, impressed. You choose nice titles! My expectation for your essays is growing with each poem I read... no pressure.