Chapter 8.3 - Dream and Reality

“Is this right?” 

The lighting technician was waiting for her agreement on the final placement of the spotlights. 

“Yes,” Claire replied, awkward. She wasn’t used to being the project of an entire team and this level of attention overwhelmed her; the art gallery looked a lot smaller and warmer now that all the work had been installed.

Grandfather pretended he had business to attend to in New Orleans so that Claire wouldn’t have to face the world alone, but made himself scarce when he saw how many people were in the gallery already.

Through the brightly lit windows of the exhibit hall one could see the artist, a young woman who looked at home in the midst of this sophisticated decor. She was confident and polished, making light conversation and entertaining different groups of people with the ease of a social butterfly. Claire’s professional persona had certainly shown up to play its part. Inside it, hiding in a little cranny of the brain from which she could watch the world without being noticed, real Claire was biting her fingernails, shaking like a leaf and praying for approval.

“I can’t do this,” she went into a full panic attack on her drive home. “What was I thinking? I can’t do this, there is no way!”

“Would you give it a rest? It’s done. What do you want to do, go back in time and not contact the gallery? I don’t understand the problem,” Grandfather did his best to calm her down.

“The problem is that I’m not this person!” Claire whimpered. “I don’t know how to be this person. Who is this person, do you even recognize me?”

“So?”

“So I can’t be this person,” she continued arguing.

“Pardon me for being blunt, but you didn’t know how to be loser Claire either, and yet you managed to emulate her for quite some time. Now you get to be up and coming artist Claire. What’s all  the fuss about? We all have our roles to play in life, why can’t you enjoy this one? Seems a little better than your usual fare.”

“But…”

“Oh, dear me, here come the buts!” Grandfather rolled his eyes annoyed.