calling it by its name

everyday i float

and currently i sink

existent i am

but alive im not

i feel the vain of seeing you

sometimes i catch a glimpse,

of the man who made me bedridden

i dont miss you

this isn't a love poem

i hate you.

innocence taken

spirit gone

my teenage-years shot with a glock straight through the mind

that was once flourished with dreams

girls

flowers

and budding hope that just appeared 

but taken away so fast

i was recovering from my own battle 

with my own villains,

 which happened to be a black smog named depression

and a toothless troll named anxiety

you encouraged them up from their grave and gave them the promised land

which just happened to be my defective carcass of actuality

you took over my anatomy and forced your figure upon me

i was harmed

mutilated

depressed

but still

you carried on like i didn't say no

used my pain like it was just a reminder to keep going

it was an invasion of a trust that wasn't even there

 

now i cant even apprehend the thought of being with someone

i can still drink

i can still get high

but i cant give myself to another living skeleton completely

because, 

it wasn't the alcohols choice for you to demolish me.

it wasn't the drugs decision to push my virginity away.

it wasn't my demons that chose this abuse.

it wasn't my teenage years desperation to be cherished that chose this.

It was you that chose to rape me.

Reviews

[Armanis]

This is a very interesting read. I suggest to keep writing. It could use some work. Some commas to give the readers a break. Without that break, it does two things,
1. Doesn't give us the chance to breath because we'll keep reading. The line break, isn't a pause.
2. If you meant to leave it out, just remember that where a comma stands, can actually change the meaning of the poem. If it is intentional that is okay, just know that commas can speak also.