waiting for a train

"what are you waiting for?"


a clatter and a crash,
reflected in her eyes,
flashes of bright colors
streak fast.

"what are you waiting for?"


a torrent of sound
engulfing her mind,
encompassing
and surrounding her actions.

"what are you waiting for?""


the grate of steel upon track
as the conductor realizes what he's done
and peels off
the twisted girl
from his undercarriage

"what are you waiting for?"


a pause,
a turn from concentration,
a glance up from haunted,
blackened eyes


"a train."

Reviews

[AndyJCash]

This is brilliantly crafted, stage by stage. At first I thought the waiting and the train was going to be some metaphor, but then you realise everything is very real. Well done!

[Moflo]

This was formatted really well, I liked that a lot! I love how the details got more and more graphic as the poem went on, and I love the way you set it up. This was a great poem, very creative and unique!