in which a pitiful individul hates his job

 

 

 

 

 

dry hands tap black keys for the fifty-sixth day in a row,

editing word by word, space by space, pixel by pixel,

for the perfection that needs be acheived.

 

gasp.  hope.  scan.  smile.  split-second of self-indulcence.  print.

 

a shuffle of feet to the printing paper,

held tightly so the edges wrinkle,

embarrassed, clammy hands wipe sweat on creased polyester,

sheepish smile.

 

paper handed in like it's the cure to cancer,

the obligatory scanning ends with a snobbish snort,

the declining stamp whacked on with a splat,

handed back to the pitiful individual

who's finding it hard to work to the constant tune of

"whack.  whack.  whack."

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[roarke]

There's a distraction here, or maybe a detachment... these are two of what I would call "anchor" sentences:

embarrassed, clammy hands wipe sweat on creased polyester

who's finding it hard to work to the constant tune of
"whack. whack. whack."

I think this piece needs a third "anchor sentence in the beginning somewhere. Maybe it's in the title...

This is personal and specific and private, a nice look inside with a window outside. Have you tried including more or condensing it to less as a comparative exercise? I once took a 300 word piece, something I thought was pure essence and obviously short and was more or less forced to write it into a hundred words.... impossible I thought, pure butchery.... but I did, and discovered none of the important stuff was missing, I was surprised. Then I carefully added back in only the essentials of what I took out and it turned out to be a stronger piece. When time and mood is willing, it's always interesting to do exercises like that.

[Rene Velez]

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy...the repetition of the everyday, mundane...no pun intended, but this is a great job.

[Evelyn Storm]

I have had many days like this! I am glad someone could articulate my frustration so aptly. I love your no nonsense writing style. Great read. Thanks for sharing!

[Kenneth The Poet]

The editor is picky isn't he. Nice job.

[Mockingbird]

great depiction of the experience of this individual; a vivid scene in a typical workday. nice piece.

[Tim Lion]

I've had days just like this.
Scanning, typing, printing, and way too much Whack! Whack! Whack!
LOL!

I know how he feels.
Thankful I work on boats now.

Great piece.
T

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

The segregated wording leaves the reader appauled and delighted at the same time