Hanging up my heart.

You,are the one I fell for

BANG,

Without doubt.

Like the crashing of a tidal

Uncontrolled,

go without

a condition,contract

a scream or a shout.

You are the one I fell for

BANG,

It hits us all

so I clasp so very gently

And pin my heart upon the wall.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes when love hit us. No turning back. A powerful poem. Direst and to the point. I like the complete poem. It is outstanding.
Coyote

[Crowley]

Like a sucker punch that leaves you gasping, I picture buying a heart at the cash register for a buck, writing my name on it and hanging it with the ten thousand other hearts from people that have checked out through the same line. Nice work, I really liked this.

[Freeman]

Inspired by Solomon Burke

Im hanging up my heart for you

[Freeman]

I was going to nail it but wanted to keep the delicateness at the end of this piece.


Thanks for reviewing

Freeman

[roarke]

Sounds more BANG, like your, BANG, nailing your heart up on the wall.... which in some cases might not be a bad idea.
You have a solid feel and clear words with your poetry, a recognizable voice.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

And pin my heart upon the wall..if only it was as easy not to fall..:)
a delight to read..

[Wondering Mind]

At times, it's not my heart I'd like to pin on the wall, but my mind.....gets me in all kinds of weird situations that end up in worse than BANG.....Nice writing.

I the how you distributed the emphasis of the "bang" its sts the tone in the opening and then is reallized throughout the body of the poem. really nice write

[...]

. you write beautifully ... with passion and precision ...