Morning Dew

Across the lush green grass I stood,

Dazzled by his breathtaking aura.

 

Putting on a brave face,

I walked towards him,

A flamingo in a flock of pigeons.

 

He noticed me,

And smiled briefly,

A smile that made my heart flutter,

But to him,

Nothing more but a friendly gesture.

 

Inside I was hoping,

That someday,

Somehow,

The feeling I had for him would disappear.

 

Puppy love,

Some would call it,

Like morning dew,

Nothing but temporary.

Author's Note

The first poem I wrote so let me know your honest opinion! Thanks a bunch.

xx

Reviews

[Lena M. P.]

Your imagery is good. I felt that you started off strong and then lost something at the end. I almost felt that the poem wasn't finished. I did like that this was obviously a younger girl falling for someone more streetwise and mature. That came across very nicely in the first part. I just felt that more emphasis was needed to express the emptiness and loss at the end.

[pal]

"Putting on a brave face,
I walked towards him,
A flamingo in a flock of pigeons."

A great way to express those thoughts.. and this too

"Puppy love,
Some would call it,
Like morning dew,
Nothing but temporary."

Bravo.
pal

[T]

For your first poem, I'm simply amazed! You are very talented and so very descriptive. Beautifully written and very moving ... hugs

[French Flair]

Thanks! As it's my first poem I really appreciate the good feedback!

xx

[Paza]

I really loved this poem! The 'flamingo in a flock of pigeons' describes the feeling so perfectly. This was wonderful!