Bare feet two ways

An entry for the contest ''Dear Heart''. A simple story of walking from the past and present.

The path I tread is rough
I lay here bare feet
I wish I could go back
Change things, a tad bit

I walk forward
Two paths lie ahead
One goes back, one goes forward
How am I misled?

If I go forward bare feet
I can tolerate no longer
A break, yes a break!
Let us choose the former

Right back at the start
The path is new and smooth
My bare feet, comfy, unhurt
I see.. perhaps, I could?

Enjoy this repeat
I can! I shall! I will!
I've longed for comfort
Oh yes how surreal

This path I once travelled
These diversions I once chose
I can enjoy with my feet
Which yield firm soles

Now given the chance
I'd change to paths less rough
And strive a comfy road
Surely suffered enough

Time and time again
I chose the best path
And yet the road still roughens
My bare feet even rants

To have even chosen what's best
To have enjoyed a changed past
Leads to an inevitable future
Another regret born at last

The path I tread is rough
I lay here bare feet
I wish I could go back
Change things, a tad bit

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

it seems are wanting the comfort of the womb? the comfort of a child nourished by a parent? looking back at your past, which may have given you comfort; instead of taking a new path, a rougher path... you seem to want what was ,not what the future may bring.Lovely metaphors here with bare feet, suffering.... well done all around.
Best, B

[Lox]

Thank you for your insight on my work. I am glad this piece even made it past the algorithms here at writerscafe.

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome Lox!!!

[barleygirl]

I love your use of the symbol of bare feet, suggesting we are babes in the woods, inexperienced & raw to the things that bombard us in life. I love that you are consistent in using the bare feet metaphor, stretching it into an extended metaphor thru-out your entire poem. I love the way your observations are a bit simple & not too deep, at first, but your poem feels like it's gathering passion as you go along, until toward the end you express more & more deeply about how it feels to be on this path (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

One tiny correction . . . "less rougher" should be "less rough"

[Lox]

Oh yeaaahhhh haha thank you for that. Now that I've read it its been bothering me thank you for your wonderful insight on this.

I feel a lot of compassion in your review. That type if analogy is bound to help writers grow. Thank you! *thumbs up*

[amethyst1998]

this is so meaningful. Pls. allow me to use it for my instagram post caption.

[Lox]

Oh wow sure. Could you send me a link to your insta post so I could see? Kinda wanna know how it feels like for other people to reference your work

[amethyst1998]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CBYByquB9Qa/?igshid=m08ehdpaxfw8

[Chris Shaw]

We choose which direction we wish to travel, but we can never be certain if that path will be trouble free. In life we encounter both the rough as well as the smooth. We gave to learn to navigate both.

Chris

[Papaya]

yes, so meaningful. navigating our walk through life is difficult and the paths we choose are not always easy

[Lox]

Glad you found my work meaningful. Hey if its not much, can I review some of your works? Is there anything you recommend?

[Papaya]

Hi, you are welcome and yes, feel free to browse!
Feedback always appreciated!

[moog-drika]

I can relate to this piece so much. There were times when I used to think of going back to the past only to change some choices I made that messed me up. But now I am happy that I made those mistakes and I enjoy thinking about them. Because I think these wrong choices make you stronger for present and for future. You have penned down the journey beautifully. Big thumbs up!

[Lox]

Thanks for the review moog, appreciate your input on my work. I would also like to grow as a writer, it would help if you'd recommend me any of your works

[moog-drika]

that's quite a difficult job. I would rather suggest you click on the write that interests you. ^_^
I wish you all the best :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

in the end, the most satisfaction might be felt by taking the tougher path and surviving with body, mind and heart still intact.
I really like how you use slant rhyme in this, really good effect.
j.

[AJNJ]

Looking back, one would indeed change so much. Faith turns to doubt. The conflict is constant. Very well expressed.

[Just Kim]

I wish i could go back and change things in my past as well. nicely written

[Lox]

Thanks for reviewing my work. If its alright, can I review some of your work as well? Do you have any recommendations?

[Just Kim]

just read whatever you like

[lakki]

This reminds me of Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken. I enjoyed this journey. It made me reflect upon mine. Good job.

[Lox]

Hey! I know that too! Thank you for your review. If you would like me to review one of your pieces I would be glad to return the favor.

[lakki]

Lol. I don't do reviews to get ones in return. :)

[Lox]

Ah no sorry If I made you think that's what I'm getting at. Let me rephrase it, can I review your works too? Which one would you recommend?