Is this love?

I hope this isn’t love

What is this called?
When you care so deeply for one even though they’re destroying you
When you know you’d do anything even when they can’t be true
When you run right back even though they’ve never done you fair
When they’ve hurt you so far beyond repair
When they’ve carved out your soul and left you in despair
When they’ve only told you lies and you believed it all
When they broke you down so much that you became small
What is this called?
When you would throw away your dignity to see them again
When you can’t help but feel a connection
When you know you’d drop everything to give them all of your affection
When you would ignore all of the wounds that cut so deep
When all you do is think about the shared memories instead of sleep
I sit here to write and to weep
Making myself so sick and so weak
I knew all along he was never mine to keep
What is this called?
It certainly can’t be love
But I have nothing else to say instead of
I wish I could allow myself to see that I’ve had enough
I guess I haven’t been beaten so hard with the pain and sorrow
Whatever this is called…I know I’ll see it tomorrow
Together again with what I hate
I wonder what I did for this to be my fate