Constellations

random thoughts

I

Heavenly constellations
written ‘cross the sky
speaking a language of light

 

II

This, who I am that you see
is as old as you
beginning as time began

 

III

Be patient, sincere and wise
befitting someone
possessing your proper share

Reviews

[Maja]

The words you used in this poem sounded.. light. Like I can imagine not the heaviness of a galaxy but instead the weightlessness of watching a shooting star. Your words contained a gentle sort of wisdom that didn't reprimand but instead pointed to a person his young, finite state against the background of the universe. Such sweet writing.

[JayceeC]

First of all I like the form which feels like choka or an inverse pattern of linked senryu. (Perhaps western haiku/senryu. I'm traditionalists and am not sure of rules on syllable counts for western versions) However, the lines of seven and five stand out in such a tradition.
These three pull together in an interesting way, that may not occur to all readers, but take some brain power. Not a bad thing as I like poetry that makes me think.
The continuum of life and the system as a whole in its infinity. We are just a tiny spec in the cog, but how much is shaped by just one person?

[garrshaw]

Thankyou again for another perceptive review Jaycee. In fact I did begin with senryu, but this is also part of my search for a form and rhythm that suits today and suits the universal rhythms that are developing in the world through the interactions of a wide diversity of humanity. My question is, since each language and culture possesses unique rhythms, what rhythms appear from their close association? Outwardly and in the beginning it may seem chaotic, but that's not what is going on at a deeper level. That's what's behind 'Constellations'. I know I may not have found the answer to this question, but we'll see.

[JayceeC]

I actually like the way these read ,as long short long, is a more natural speech pattern than say an tetrometer which has eight each line.

[garrshaw]

Oh, wonderful. The pattern seems more natural to me as well... gentle and secure. (I am a little obsessed with understanding the rhythms that individuals and cultures use.)

[Viv Wade]

Love this poem, really makes me realise how insignificant we all are, compared with the vast infinity of the cosmos.

[garrshaw]

I'm so glad that you like it Saty - hope you don't mind that I've given you a shorter name :)

[Viv Wade]

No, I don't mind at all - it's quite catchy!

[Writergirl]

Very deep indeed, love it!

[garrshaw]

Thankyou very much!