Salt Water

Night Swimming

The beachfront is strange in the dark - you can hardly see the sand or the sea and it looks like the world just ends - I walked out into the sea last night - it was f*****g freezing - I like the way the waves hit my body - I like the power of it - the way it pushes me -  sometimes I could love the sea - dark, cold, indifferent to how I feel - and yet - I like the way it touches me - the way it holds my body and sucks me down into some other world.

Sometimes I’d like to go down - let the salt water in my mouth - I could go down and never come up again…

I held my breath until it burned in me and I surfaced coughing water - I left my clothes on the rocks - and when I came out the wind was even colder than the sea - I had to wait for ages for the night to dry my body - I didn't want to dress while wet and get the sand and salt water in my clothes - I sat naked on the rocks looking at the sky and I thought of you - of the dirty little words that we share - they kept me warm.

Reviews

[Alessander]

A. Love the theme. I'm a nautical man - I often write about the sea and such, and I really like what you're doing here with the scene.

B. I love the reflection. You really get specific and I feel like I'm there at the beach at midnight.

Skinny dipping in the ocean at night is something only the youth can do! And even then, it's a little nuts cause it's FREEZING!!!

I really enjoyed the way it ended - it wraps up nicely.

Some things could perhaps be cut out (like "wait for ages") but overall I dug it.

[gcp]

AWw thanks - I'm glad it stuck a chord :) Yeah - it can be really cold - but that's part of the fun in a way.

Yeah - I agree, a few loose words still hanging about - I like to trim them out where I can - perhaps I'll have another little prune, get rid of a few more...

thanks for reading :)

[Leslie Philibert]

A very visual, sensual write, good piece of prose..

[ChemicalMadness]

This was quite lovely. Quiet and innocent(ish)....but written with a devilish glint in your eye....or so I imagine. Well done.

CM

[gcp]

aww thanks :)

Good to have a glint in the eye - people wonder what you've been up to... ;)

[Jeremiah Castelo De Guz..]

Such an erotic theme presented in such a classy way, and you couldn't have picked a more appropriate medium: the sea! Great visual imagery, you took me right there. You're right, it was cold.

[emmajoy]

We left the safety of water to come into this weird life.. some never forget - you just have to be one. There's a natural language to your poem, no pretentious phrases but honest well.tuned emotions, and beautifully graphic: '.. and I thought of you - of the dirty little words that we share - they kept me warm.' How real and blissful is that!

[B-poet]

An interesting take on a loving nostalgia that keep a sense of calmness intact during the bearest of moments. Great job. :)

[gcp]

Aww thanks :)

[Christof]

*like*

[gcp]

Yay!

[Chen Li Assunç&a..]

dark and sexy and very good it reminds me of u ;)

[gcp]

Flattery will get you everywhere ;) hehe Thanks!

[Diptesh Patel]

you sure have a way with words. this is amazing.

[gcp]

awww thanks :)

[Tamara]

Lovely.

[gcp]

Thanks :)

[Phoenix]

I really like this poem

[gcp]

Awww thanks :)