11

He whipped around and came to see his father with a face of pure dismay.

            "What in the hell are you doing?" Aaron asked angrily as he seized the knife from Kyle's hand.

            Still reeling from the trauma, Kyle put his back to the door and slid down into a rocking fetal position all the while still keeping his eyes on his father. Aaron put the knife on the counter and got down on his haunches.

            "What in the hell has happened to you? Why are you staring out the window like that?" Aaron asked with the same tone.

            "A car tried to run me down, Dad! I nearly lost my life out there," Kyle answered in such a terrified voice.

            Aaron stared at his only child in sheer disbelief.  Kyle stared into his father's eyes wondering what he would say next.

            "A car, huh," Aaron voiced irately. "What in the holy hell were you being run down for?"

            Kyle didn't answer his father straightaway. Aaron pulled a chair away from the kitchen table and sat with his chest touching the top rung. Aaron sighed loudly and his voice changed tones.

            "Who tried to flatten you?" Aaron asked in his normal voice.

            "Matthew Mayer did. He owns the red car that tried to pancake me. He tried to run me down after I left Mary's house. I took off down the back alley but the car continued to chase me. I ducked between two homes and I saw Weezer waiting at the next corner. I didn't know what to do at first but I saw an escape."

            Aaron continued his line of questioning in the same voice, "How did you escape?"

            Horror seized Kyle's voice, "I ran over Weezer's car. He must have hit the pavement because he failed to chase me. I ran the next two blocks home at full speed. The same red car was at the corner of our block. I ran through the nearest yard and onto the street. The white reverse lights came on the car and the tires squealed. I hit the curb just before the red car made contact with the curb. I ran here to the house with the same panic-stricken face as you see now."

            Aaron's face had not contorted in a way showing any sort of parental sympathy.  His tone of voice had remained invariable.

            "Who drove the red car?" Aaron inquired.

            "Matthew Mayer. He is a senior running back and team captain," Kyle answered.

            Aaron must have been trying to imitate his wife, "Is Weezer his best friend?"

            Kyle felt like he was on the witness stand, "Yeah, he is always with Weezer. Weezer, Matthew, and Wesley Winger are the three musketeers of the football team."

            Aaron nodded and he got out of his chair.  He walked into the living room and Kyle had wondered he was doing. Kyle got up and moved toward the doorway but Aaron stopped him cold. Kyle laid eyes on the football that Aaron held and a second wave of cold fear came over him.

            "You were nearly run over today because of this thing, right?" Aaron stated as he put the ball two inches from his son's face.

            Kyle was at loss for prose and Aaron filled in the blanks, "I got an earful today from Dusty Westfall. He interrupted the brunch your mother and I were enjoying today at the diner. It seems that his son had a football stolen from him yesterday afternoon. When I heard that you were the perpetrator, you don't know how deeply mortified I was."

            Kyle ventured to speak but his dad his left index finger up.

            "Forever hold your peace on this because I am not going to let you try to defend yourself," Aaron voiced in the same tone as the night before. "The ice you are treading on right now is so thin that a sneeze could make it break. You are going to listen to every single world I have to tell you!"

            Aaron cleared his throat and put the football on the counter.  He walked toward Kyle and the young man wedged himself against the doorjamb.

            Aaron began the reaming, "I told you last night to carefully tread in regard to living here. What you did yesterday afternoon caused a severe rift between us and the most powerful member of the town council. Dusty Westfall doesn't like to have anybody f*****g with him or his son. That little f*****g stunt you pulled not only made Weezer cross, it made his daddy cross.

            "F*****g with those in power will get you killed! I don't need to have my life shattered by the one I brought into the world!  I told you, I specifically told you to think of ways to make yourself invisible and all you did was paint a bigger target on your back!  Not only did you paint a bigger target on yourself, you painted one on your mother and me!"

            Aaron's volume slipped a bit but tone hadn't changed, "There are consequences to every action you make. I told you that before and it seems that it hasn't sunk in. You have a blatant disregard for authority and social structure. You strike the ones at the top of the food chain, and then they strike harder on the bottom. You are at the bottom and still you fail to realize that. Taking that insipid pigskin hasn't only brought you tumult but it has brought tumult to your mother and me as well. If you had the goddamn common sense to realize that norms aren't meant to be tampered with, then you would be in better shape.  If you also had the common sense to perceive that all actions have reactions, then you would realize that you are to blame for the trouble you brought on your parents!"

            Aaron's reading of the riot act made Kyle's soul simmer and the cold fear melted away. Aaron didn't seem to notice this as he continued with his stern lecture.

            "Your actions lately have made your mother and I question your sanity. I personally think you've gone nuts. You are doing all this stuff out of a need for attention. Well, guess what, I am giving you attention! You have my attention! Your sick need for it has paid off and I am giving it to you in its undivided form! I focusing it wholly on you and I am telling you that sick need is what is wrong with you!"

            The simmering quickly hit the boiling point. Kyle went off and it was deafening, "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!! THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!"

            Aaron expected Kyle's reaction as he put his hand over his son's mouth.

            "If you ever scream at me like that again, I will take you on and it will be unforgiving," Aaron said calmly. Danielle had come into the room after hearing Kyle's screech.

            Kyle began to cry and his tears rolled down onto Aaron's hand. Aaron took his hand away from Kyle's mouth and wiped it on his pants.

            "New rules go into effect now, Kyle. If you f**k with any sort of authority again, expect no help from your mother or me. I don't care if you think it is unjust because everybody receives his or her fair share in the end. This rule is retroactive to yesterday considering the events. Is that clear?" Aaron said clearly and sternly.

            "No!" Kyle voiced defiantly.

            Aaron turned the heating valve to full-tilt, "I see that you are going to be a recalcitrant hard-a*s now. You are hereby barred from the home office now and forever. You cannot touch the computer in there ever again. If I catch you even doing your homework on the computer, then the consequences will be tragic. I guarantee life will be tougher and much less forgiving on you than it is now. Is that finally clear?"

            Kyle voiced through the tears, "I have a paper due tomorrow."

            Aaron smirked, "You broke the rules, Kyle. You seem to be good at finding ways to defy authority. Why not use all that talent you have to find a way out?"

            "But Dad," Kyle interceded.

            Danielle expectedly interjected, "No, Kyle, your father has made himself clear. You are hereby denied parental assistance for the rest of the day. Don't speak to us even if it means you are dying from flesh-eating bacteria, tuberculosis or something like that. If I hear one disturbance from you at all again today, you will be seeing much harsher punishment."

            Her statement made Kyle go quiet. The tears came out a bit faster and Danielle sneered evilly.

            Danielle showed a side he hadn't seen before, "You are a f*****g crybaby. You’re a sniveling little b*****d, you know that right? How is it that you can't stand the life we have offered you? We have done our best for you and all it has been from you is ingratitude. You question our rules and our decisions about the life we let you lead. Who do you think you are and what right do you have to question what we do, you whiny ingrate? All you have done is cave and continually cry about the existence you live and it has caused you more trouble than it is worth!"

            Kyle couldn't handle it anymore, "SHUT THE F**K UP, YOU LYING B***H!!!"

            Danielle smacked him on one cheek and on the other him with the same hand.  Kyle's teardrops were now going at full-bore and he was scared out of his mind now.

            Danielle's tone of voice intensified, "If you ever and I mean ever call me that again, I will punish you deservingly and your father will back me up! What gives you the right to call me a lying b***h? I never did anything to you to deserve such a title! I am the biggest supporter you have!  Don't you ever accuse me of lying again!"

            The dread overruled the rashness he wanted to react with.  What had been only a feeling had become a true motive.  He had been completely deceived by the two people who were supposed to be closest ones he would have in his life.  His home was no longer his safe haven.  The ultimatum was either death here or death in the outside world.  He stared at his mother and father with a mix of angst and contempt. As if they could read his mind, they moved to the side to let him out. Kyle took it as a sign that they wouldn't want to see him at all for the rest of the day (if not ever). Kyle slowly sauntered toward his room but stopped upon hearing his father's voice.

            "Tread lightly from here on out, Kyle! One move perceived as hostile will get you thrown out of the house! That is a promise!" Aaron yelled.

            Having no other choice, Kyle walked into his room and shut the door. He landed on his bed and cried until he needed eye drops. All of his avenues of release had been forever blocked. He stared once more at the phone knowing that he couldn't contact the woman he loved. He sighed knowing that the swan song that brought him much joy would be forever housed in the computer he could not access. The story was the same for his homework assignment that was due the next day. If he even dared sneak out of the house to go and see Mary, he knew he would get the ultimate punishment. The same would likely happen if she had called. Kyle cried harder only without tears because the pain was too much to bear.

            It hit him as soon as he had turned his head away from the telephone. He had no control over the situation he was in. Anyway he tried to move appeared to be a step in the direction toward the endless void. His parents were now in control over almost everything he could do. They could now freely disassociate themselves from him at will and still have him on a short leash. With life at school the way it was, Kyle so badly wanted out but there was no real way he could do it. Dusty Westfall had a lot of power to wield when it came to public policy. When Kyle had first joined the football team, he had heard that Dusty and Edward were best buddies and that connection let Weezer get the guaranteed spot of quarterback. Dusty's political power and Edward's status as a god among men made it very easy for any football player to get away with anything deemed lower than a felony. With the sudden change on the home front, Kyle's hopes were now forever crushed. 

            He just gazed with glazed eyes at the whitewashed wall. He didn't even shift a micron when the telephone rang only once and a stern warning came from his mother that was meant for the caller on the other end. His mother came into the room and verbally reamed him until his ears metaphorically bled everywhere. He still didn't shift while it went on and he still didn't shift after she left the room. For the longest time, Kyle was dead to the world. He didn't shift and his parents shifted their attention away from him and onto other affairs. He just stared at the wall and silently brooded about his life.

            And then something just snapped him out of his brutal mood.

            Kyle wasn't sure what the sound was that brought him out of his comatose condition. He looked at his bedside clock and the time read 6:30pm. He slowly got off the bed and trudged toward the door. He steadily cracked the door and saw that the hall was empty. He crept out of his room and made his way to the kitchen. The house was completely vacant and breathed a slight sigh of relief. He wasn't sure where his parents had gone but he couldn't have cared less. Kyle leaned back against the stove and glared at the refrigerator. He hadn't eaten anything all day but his stomach wasn't begging to be filled. The wear and tear of the abuse was wearing on him physically. If he couldn't eat, what else would go wrong? He couldn't bear to imagine it. He reached for a nearby cupboard and grabbed a glass. He put the glass under the faucet and turned it on. He quickly downed the glass and fleetly followed with two more. He put the glass down in the basin and gazed out the window before him. 

            Weezer was standing in the alley. The quarterback took his right hand and with his forefinger, pointed it directly at Kyle. Weezer then took his right thumb across his neck in quick succession. The move made Kyle jump backward and blink several times.  He stared out the window once more only to find that Weezer was gone. He let out several panicked breaths in a row. Did he see actually Weezer or was he hallucinating?  Regardless of the real answer, he decided to ultimately give in.

            Time apparently slowed down because it felt like forever as Kyle decided his fate.  He reached for the knife drawer and pulled out the same sharp filet knife that he reached for earlier. Kyle put it in his right hand and he scanned it over for several seconds. It was rather large, made of stainless steel with a black handle that was curved downward, a blade that was curved upward and an edge that was nicely serrated. If somebody had been stabbed with such a knife, it would take a rigorously trained trauma team to stop the bleeding. Kyle went to another drawer that was on the opposite side of the stove. Kyle rummaged through it until he found the object of choice, a black permanent marker.  With the knife in his right hand and the marker in his left hand, Kyle marched ever so unhurriedly toward the bathroom.

            As he arrived in the lavatory, he turned on the light and shut the door. He locked the door and huffed heavily several times. He stared in the mirror and stared at his neck in particular. He was visibly shaking as he made his next move. He took the cap off the black marker and he raised his right hand to the top of his Adam's apple. The shaking became more violent as he drew a black line where the neck met the chin. He capped the marker and placed it on the counter. Tediously, he took the knife in his right hand and brought it even with the line. The nicely serrated edge was touching the line waiting to be pulled to the right. Kyle stared at the image of himself with the long blade at the fleshy part of his throat.  Try as he might, he couldn't move his right hand. He tried to gulp but the blade made it impossible to do so. He tried to push the knife tighter against his throat but his hand was not responding. As the struggle ensued within him, thoughts and images of two close people entered his head.

            The faces of Mary and Thomas Steele entered his consciousness and it jarred him into a counter action.  He threw the knife away and it crashed against the mirror. He fell down on the floor and for several moments, breathed like he had been hugged by a grizzly bear. He got to his knees and screamed at the top of his lungs.

            He wailed solemnly, "I NEED TO BE FREED FROM MY LIFE!!! FREE ME FROM THIS VILE EXISTENCE!!! FREE ME NOW!!!"

            He collapsed back on the ground exhausted hoping that his wish would be granted, but it would not happen that way. After a minor duration, Kyle got up and he stared into the mirror seeing his complexion. It was exhausted out of mental and emotional anguish. His throat bore a line that was both red and black. As slowly as before, Kyle washed the black line away getting as much as he could. He gradually maneuvered back to the kitchen where he washed the filet knife and put both the knife and marker in their respective homes. After that, he wandered bit by bit back to his bedroom. He closed the door and fell down on his bed. As unhurried as it all had started, Kyle contemplated the outcomes of his actions. It was a bittersweet resolution to a rather lively day that involved both sheer bliss and sheer odium.

            He was sort of like the metal box that received sheer forces from opposing sides.

           Whether he knew it or not, Kyle proved he was stronger than he personally believed. Backing off from a suicide attempt when he was so thoroughly convinced he had nothing to live for showed signs of a body and soul that wanted to live. Without a further thought to anything that led up to the current moment, Kyle fell asleep peacefully.