Buttered Toast

buttered toast and cat rotating
in concord along a central axis,

imitating six curves based on
the six defined trigonometric
ratios, all defined and undefined
at certain points along the
horizontal axis,

a perpetual pardox defying
both the laws of chance
and gravity,

but modeled by the same
methods that Descartes
and his successors
discovered all those
years ago,

of course
the minor human
intellect discovered
the curvature of the
universe and that
the energy is directly
proportional to
the square that is
the velocity of light
via the variation
constant called mass,

so thinking up
strange things
that might actually
be true is something
that can actually happen,

just ask Godel and Heisenberg,

but in practice,
the cat would scratch
the s**t out of your nuts
or your face if you even
tried to duct tape some
buttered toast to its back,

and even if you could,

the cat would fall first,

be it feet, face, back or side,

a*s-over-teakettle antics
would not be tolerated
in such a felonious
feline-based experiment,

and that thought experiment
is exactly that,

a debate about the existence
of God and even morality

Author's Note

Not my best, but I tried. I am suffering from the lack of spark as of late and I decided to take my own advice and write anyway. This is my first poem in about three weeks.

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

intense poem full of information the everyday lay person wouldn't know about, much less put it practical use. who are we to experiment on the poor cat...if we took on the roll of an ominpotent god, he'd be using everyone as experiments. the rest, a physics lesson goes over my head. but to get those into poetic form is amazing.

[roarke]

YOU are a VERY dangerous man.... tempting the forces of nature that way, buttered toast and cats landing on their feet..... VERY funny stuff. hahahaahahahaha.

Now... put that same kitty, bdsm bound to the fat soaked toast in Schrodinger's box....