Hat Trick

he was there, nearby, when some guy
closed off the Bismarck Expressway
due to suicidal tendencies

he was there, in the audience,
when the Deputy Attorney General
turned a whole student body
into a swarm of sitting dead

he was there, in the audience,
when the foremost expert on
the zombie apocalypse turned
a whole audience into a gaggle
of giddy goobers

and each time he was there,
the cameras from the television
station on fire didn't catch him on
the edges, on the periphery

not even once, talk about
a hat trick fail.