Death's Gate

                         Chapter One

They heard a noise ahead of them, as though many legs were scrambling over the damp stone trying to gain traction. The skittering grew closer, bringing with it the sound of metal bouncing off stone; the sound echoing off of the stone tunnel made it seem like there was an entire army marching towards them, which there very well might have been, it was impossible to tell in the near total darkness that permeated the cave.

“Ready your blades men, here is your chance to prove you’re deserving of the Marrok!” shouted the burly, gray haired man at the head of the small group of fighters, pulling his two-handed axe as he did so. He flexed his well-muscled arms, making the amazing array of tattoos, also known as the Marrok, which covered his body move and flex as though seen through water. Tightening his grip on the axe he settled himself into the typical fighting stance of the Treb, feet spread apart and shoulders tensed, ready to cleave the mighty war axe through any foe that stood in the way.

            The other members of the Marrok’ta, which was the name of group of newly tattooed Treb, who were a fierce race of mountain dwellers, drew their war axes as well and moved into a rough half-circle around the gray haired man.

Reviews

[Weaver]

period, not comma, after "very well might have been"
comma after "Ready your blades" (separate a direct address from rest of sentence in dialogue)
period, not comma, after "men"
"gray haired man" - "gray-haired"
"tattoos, also known as the Marrok, which covered his body move and flex" - awkward - try "tattoos known as the Marrok that covered his entire body flex and move"
comma after "grip on the axe"
"members of the Marrok’ta, which was the name of group of newly tattooed Treb, who were a fierce race of mountain dwellers, drew their war axes" - really awkward - You're trying to stuff too much information into one sentence.
"the gray haired man" - "gray-haired"

This is too short to be a chapter; it isn't even a complete scene. Add what happens next, and then it will probably be enough for the reader to get a feel for what the story is about.

[Ghost]

Oh I know this wasn't a complete chapter, sorry for the confusion, I fully intend to write out the rest of the chapter, this was merely the first page.