The Accident

The last part is awesome. Please review it.

There was my girlfriend,

Walking down the street.

Calling my name

As if dying for me.

She was in the middle of the street

Glancing at me.

She didn't know

I was nervous of her,

Watching me cheating on her.

She let out a tear,

Then looking at me

My name she screamed.

She went down her knees,

Desperately letting out her tears,

When suddenly I

Gave back a scream

Saying nooo.

She didn't know

What I meant  by "no"

So she just kept on kneeling.

She took a look to her side

Watching a car coming down,

But the only thing she did

Was to look at me.

I closed  my eyes,

When I heard the cracking sound

of my girlfriend's bones.

 

 

Author's Note

This is a poem I just made up. Please review it.

Reviews

[Allen Smuckler]

Whew! That's good news
It felt real and painful...Interesting use of words and imagery
I liked it...Keep writing and feeling, but try drawing more from your actual experiences
For more on your knees I'd like to refer you to my ..."On My Knees"
tell me what you think gonzalo
allen

[alexlessah]

powerful and sad. extremely vivid. very well done.

[Clay Feet]

Deceit and desperation
Would rather not witness
Happens
More than I wish

Both lives tragic
One may learn from mistakes

............Gruesome but good

[brenda]

ouch this poem its that vivid i could vizualize everything! keep it up!:)

[tHe]

wow powerfull. One way of letting your feelings out.

[TheMizFit]

Very sad. Very sad indeed, but this is still amazing. That's all I can say.

[Sarah Morgan]

This is very morbidly sad. I hate cheaters! I know that's beside the point of the writing it was good, but very hard to read because cheating just makes me incredibly angry even though this is made up, but it is a great write and I would have liked to have seen more toward the end and maybe see what else happened.. I kind of wish it was a story piece and that it was more in chapters because I think it would be really good not that this isn't.

[Alicia Hirshey]

wow. That is, different.

[WynterPhoenix]

It's definately original. Nice write!