Melt

A poem I wrote sitting in my backyard, two years ago

the two of us

lying in the sun

eyes closed

but still seeing 

the orange sunlight

through our lids

when we blink

and see each other

vague and beautiful

we'll reach for each other

and melt

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

It is always good to melt in love ...

[MR.RANDLE]

Iwant to feelthat way,lol...i love it because it represent true passion..

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Sweet, innocent and complex. pat

[pumpkin head]

Such an amazing deep write, nicely done

[Louise]

So much power in those two last words. It made me think that there's more to these two people's story than what you let us know in this poem - real nice.
The rythm works very well too!

[Eloha]

*roars* I suppose I should suggest, that this had a very fancy quality of allure and captivating style.

[Lily Legrand]

Thanks! This is the best poem I've ever written, in my opinion :)

[Eloha]

Well it certainly shows promise of your abilities.

[.]

This is amazing. I love the metaphors and imagery :) Great job, Aurelia.

[Taylor Ann]

It was short and sweet, which made it awe inspiring. I loved the attention to details when you said:

eyes closed
but still seeing
the orange sunlight
through our lids

I really loved that part, because I know the exact same feeling. Brilliantly written. I loved it.

[Fae]

I really like the rhythm you have used, it's extremely effective and your poems don't need to rhyme with such a good use of tempo. I really like the simplicity of it, but the ending sounds very good. If you just read it out the end really closes it up and makes the poem sound finished. Awesome job!