Senryu #18-22: The Wit Series

The greatest poem

writes itself when no-one's there

to take it down

 

My wit is better

when you take it with whip-cream 

and a grain of salt

 

On my death bed

I'll confess I've never had

a good night's sleep

 

I love you more than

I love myself, guess that's why

it's not enough

 

I'm a bad liar

I tell that to everyone

so they'll believe me

Reviews

[Divya]

Smartly wrote, words are used making a fusion. Precise and enjoyable

[K.]

This is really good! It's composed perfectly. The words work together to create witty and sharp senryus (is that what they're called? I've never seen these before). I love the second one ("My wit is better...") and the last one ("I'm a bad liar")! They are just written so well, and make me laugh just a little bit. Great write!

[emmajoy]

Clever use of words, witty senryus - each has its own sharpness. For me, both first and last has the edge maybe, but then, the others are pretty good too!

[Thaddius]

thanks emmajoy. I think it depends on the mind that reads them. You probably have to have an appreciation for paradox to like the last one

[emmajoy]

Will i ever understand what i appreciate!

[Maja]

"On my death bed
I'll confess I've never had
a good night's sleep"

This one is my favorite out of all of them. It tells a bigger story than the ones written in those three lines, making a person have a deeper connection and simply knowing in themselves "why" without giving them the ability to put the answer into words. I love it. It's the same feeling one gets when looking at an artwork that they connect with but cannot explain. Wonderful.

[Thaddius]

Thanks! I'm really glad you like that one. It's not strictly true, it's in character, but it's an authentic one..

[Maja]

Authenticity is what makes it easier for the poem to convey emotions. Looking forward to reading your other works. :)

[Sultrysoul]

The first is so true and I love the second. Another enjoyable work of art

[Thaddius]

Thanks, delicious.

[Sultrysoul]

You're welcome