The Slot machine

Like a broken old penny

no slot fits

disfigured and deformed

not even worth 

the price of a dime

as the tick tock clock

shifts in shifts

of sunlight

and blocks of night

summer fought the Winter

for the naming of clouds

and the house of cards

and damp foundations and cracks

and the mirror image/cracked

reflection

                  /perfection

of whispers in the wind

and the echo

             and the echo

                 of things to come

and the sound

               and the sound

                                 (of crickets)

    of the broken limbs of trees

and the de ja vu of vu ja de

                unfolded

things, unfolded unfound

     the same

and the soaked promise

     of understanding

from someone somewhere

and snapped crickets wings

                          scream

Reviews

[Eilis]

This poem has a beginning that speaks (for me) to the image of something/someone worked over by time and experience, but as it goes on, there's a sense that that isn't the full picture, or the end of the story. The mixing of states and cacophony of images (weird expression, but it fits in my head) becomes like the journey of life itself.

The undulation of time and how it works on us, but within that rippling of all things, there is also the music of things that aren't easily dismissed, and facing the self in a cracked mirror can be both terrifying and beautiful--depending on the day, perhaps.

The cricket symbology is excellent because it provides a visual and an auditory point of reference, and also this haunting presence there at the end. At least to my mind. The cricket being a symbol of luck for some, earlier in the poem it sings, but then that song turns into a kind of violence that makes the ending feel like a great glut of unresolution.

So, maybe there's a grappling with different states. A kind of hope, but also a kind of understanding. The prism of life. Sometimes the light hits and, colors spill over the wall, and other times it just hangs there cold and silent in the absence of sun. I don't know. There's a bit of the chaos of life here, but also promise and an echo from the future (love that idea). And those still have the potential to be driving forces. Since the future remains forever a source potential.

[gram linski]

thanks, Eilis was trying to explore that outsider viewpoint, the prism of life, haha, but you are right with the grappling of states and the chaos of life, thanks again for the great review

[barleygirl]

This is such brilliant writing . . . can't even comment with words that would be deserving! Wowza! I blubber & stumble. I am forever humbled. The opening series of images -- bent coin & mismatched slot -- it's a stunning idea that tumbles thru the reader's thoughtwaves like the pinball bounces around inside the machine. Your lines tumble into little splashes of "AHA!" as you SHOW with your dynamic whimsical writing structure, as well as with your words. Thanks for a perfect morning prance . . . & deja vu backwards . . . one of many strokes of genius here (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[gram linski]

hey, Margie, what a great review, always willing to enhance yer prance, wink, wink,

[¿]

Makes me feel the ultramodern situation of the US where late night workers, slum dogs and needy ones are steady, slowly accept their present and future to be the same. One's everything is lost in the crowd of updated lives. In hopes he lives and in failures he breaks, the cycle repeats. A write well to contemplate and understand! Be blessed =)

[gram linski]

thanks for the cool review, Tahsin, glad you enjoyed

[¿]

I did and you're welcome =)