Because She is Eighteen (18) Now

Just something about teenage attraction

She doesn't miss chasing butterflies anymore,
Her prince is not the charming one,
But who knows how to explore,
The palaces of her mind and heart,
Her hidden chambers of fantasies,
And fill them with a treasure,
Of accomplishment and fulfilled desires, everything to her pleasure,
His passion and manners of surrender,
Make her feel like a queen,
She believes that deserves it all,
She's pretty and 'eighteen',
Every second, when he is not with her,
She lives in throbbing pain,
All she dreams is of his heart melting gaze,
She lives and breathes,
craving for the joy of burning in his blaze.

Author's Note

(i'm strongly in favour of teens recieving guidance and councelling about their early age attractions and emotions. Call me conservative, but it's important to help them distinguish between good and bad). Please do critique and guide me about how to improve my work. Don't hesitate, but be polite.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i find a certain sadness in this...yes at that age the lust runs wild, teenage attraction and such...but she is pretty, feels like a queen etc. but only when he is around....by herself, not so...when we need another's attention in order to feel good about ourselves, something important is definitely missing.

[M.K. Jawdat]

you are right. Thank you for reading

[Baby Ricochet]

If I had teenaged daughters I would make damn sure I was the most subtly intimidating male her suitors ever met.

[M.K. Jawdat]

thank you so much for reading

[zainul]

A nice rhymed piece depicting the nature and aspiration of a girl who reaches perfect adulthood.

[M.K. Jawdat]

Thank you for reading

[zainul]

You are most welcome.:)

[Einstein Noodle]

i am enjoying reading your poems ..we are simpatico on the use of few words and saying as much as we can with them ... i have 2 daughters and the boyfriend your poem speaks of and the young lady's affliction was always my worst nightmare ... its a difficult situation and as a parent felt i could only offer my opinion when asked for it .... if i saw a huge threat ..then i spoke up ...but we all have to go through these things in life and learn ...the hard way if necessary ... it is a very wise teen that seeks sound advice ...and a happier one that listens and takes it .. enjoyed this poem ...thanks for posting it
E.

[M.K. Jawdat]

Thank you . . . . . .

[M.K. Jawdat]

Thank you everyone for your comments

[Coyote Poetry]

"She lives and breathes,
craving for the joy of burning in his blaze."
This poem is very good. You have described the mind of a young woman. They are like wildflowers. Free and uncontrolled. Wanting everything and wanting nothing. I like the complete poem. No weakness in the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[M.K. Jawdat]

thank you for your review

[Priyanshi Dass]

Beautifully written. The flow is great. I especially loved the first line. A wonderful read. Keep writing. Good luck and have a nice day.

[Zahra]

The whole piece flows well but i feel some problem in the last 4 lines. But interesting concept and somewhat truthful description of teenage romance.

[Sami Khalil]

You are talented indeed. I need to read more of your work...I'll be back...:)...................

[M.K. Jawdat]

Thank you, i've been just doodlin' though. But thanks a lot

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).......................