Obituary

Night has fallen , darkness abounds

Somewhere in the wilderness , a lost soul hounds .

Was it his grief that was profound

Or his adversaries that had brought him face down on the ground .

I know not but am bound to trudge along and see

Cause the dreadful whining wont let me breathe free .

As I draw close , shiver runs down my spine

I reproach myself for wandering off , yet keep on saying "everything is fine" .

At some distance i chance upon a mound

A few steps more and an epitaph is what i found .

I bend down for the thick layers of dust needs to be blown away

The wind seems to be assisting me , as the trees begin to sway .

Light from the crescent moon falls on the engravings

I slowly start to read , giving way to my inner cravings .

"As i lay herein , I am glad i can no longer be seen

They will never come to know of the remorse that lies within

Thou aren't aware of the bouts of miseries that had grown

Cause a cheerful countenance is what i had always shown

My dreams kept getting out of sight

Yet i garnered hope to plunge in for a last fight

I succumbed cause against destiny i had no might

In the end , had to accept my woeful plight ."

Dumbstruck i frantically start to search for the day

When the poor man had to finally go away .

I find none

The day that signified that Satan had finally won !

Amidst the turmoil of emotions , a thought suddenly dawned

There lay no man and so no mention of the day was to be found .

It was my own soul that was making the call

The one that had bore all and taken the fall .

All that remained of me is this mortal body

A futile mind that makes me do menial work that's quite shoddy .

I pluck a black rose and lay it on the solitary grave

For my soul that never was , as they termed it 'rave' ...

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

this poem is mysterious until the end. It captures that feeling of not being worthy and wanting more out of life. I can relate to this feeling at times but I have learned along the way it is the little things in life that mean the most and that no matter what the world around you says be the best person you can be not the best person that others want you to be. This poem is dark and captures those feelings of being inadequate

[Ruth]

Now that's what I call macabre! LOVE it lol
A great piece love!
Really philisophical also!
Wonderfully crafted :)

"Dumbstruck i frantically start to search for the day
When the poor man had to finally go away .

I find none
The day that signified that Satan had finally won !".........Stunning imagery!

Reflective and downright cool lol The lines simply bleed into each other, wonderful :)

100 for you lmao

xx

[Cynthia]

It is great!
It is a great poem which go troughs darkness.
Love this!

[An owl on the moon]

You move us through this dreamish darkness.. painfully personal in feel.. There is that haunted journey of the soul.. reaching out.. and desiring life even in the midst of lifelessness. Profound.

[thedaydreamer]

Pretty dark piece of poetry. And very beautiful and immaculate imagery. The whole poem reads very well, thanks to the form and rhyming scheme. However, I would say, you can do better with the words, particularly in the lines like,
"As I draw close , shiver runs down my spine
I reproach myself for wandering off , yet keep on saying "everything is fine" ."

I loved the lines that were inscribed on the epitaph, loved how you said Satan has finally won and at the end how you found the soul to be yours.

I guess you told me some days back, how similar our writing is. I agree.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

Amazing!!!!..the language,the feel,the flow of words..everything was so good here,in fact so perfect..you write with a lot of emotion and that is what adds that extra depth and edge to your poems...

[MiidniightSoul]

This one is amazing. Great imagery and really powerful. And I also love your rhyme, very impressive. Keep it up. ^__^

[Daniel Gardner]

This is an awesome poem with great imagery and the title does it justice as well. Great Job on this one. I would be honored if you would submit this to the contest I created called "Poems for fund raising" Once again awesome poem.

[PadfootBlack]

Amazing imagery, PERFECT rythm. I can practically imagine this as a rap or a song. Into the library it goes....

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

a mystical journey through the human soul~ the rhyme patterns are expertly strung~ the imagery is rich and captivating~