Two Ships That Passed In The Night

A Poem by Greeshma Y

Two Ships That Passed In The Night

Maybe in another, we have

a happy ending, me and you

Maybe in another life, we experience the kind

of love that's typically reserved only for a few

Maybe in another life, we

walk together, hand in hand

Maybe in another life, at the

wedding altar we stand

Maybe in another life, we

have a family of our own

Maybe in another life, we

build the happiest of homes

Maybe in another life, we resist

the inevitable end with all our might

But in this one, we're merely

two ships that passed in the night

© 2026 Greeshma Y

Author's Note

This is my first time sharing my work like this on a public platform. Any and all feedback is appreciated. Thank you!

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Reviews

John the Baptist

I see the self appointed editor in chief of W/C has deigned to inundate you with his vast erudition. I think he means well and it is true that you can learn from reading others. But in the end only you can know what is right for you. Write from your heart and your gut.

Posted 1 Week Ago

JayG

• Maybe in another, we have

In another…what? The reader can’t read your mind, has no access to your intent, and, confusion cannot be retroactively removed.

In the end, this is you talking to someone unknown about the result of unstated events. What’s in it for the reader? Who cares what someone unknown is telling someone not introduced, when we lack contex to make it meaningful?

Poetry isn’t fact-based it’s emotion-based, with a goal of entertaining the reader. But in this, and most of your posted work, you’re talking TO the reader about what matters to you, without involving them or providing context.

But….the reader comes to you to be made to feel and care, not nod in acceptance. They want to be made to think, not simply nod in agreement.

In poetry we don’t tell the reader we cried at a funeral, we give that reader reason to weep.

You’re pretty consistent with prosody—though the rhyme is often forced: “at the
wedding altar we stand” Is Yoda-speak, and awkward.

My favorite example of involving the reader is the lyric to the song, "The Twelfth of Never," released in 1957. Look at the opening:
- - - - -
You ask how much I need you, must I explain?
I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain.
You ask how long I'll love you; I'll tell you true:
Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you.
- - - - -
Notice the clever trick played on the reader: The speaker is replying to a question the reader supposedly asked, placing that reader INTO the poem, as the beloved who has asked that question. And since it’s one we might ask of someone who loves us, the answer is inherently interesting (especially since, if it’s a good answer we might use it).

So with “You ask,” and without realizing why, the reader is emotionally involved. That’s brilliant writing, because this one line makes the rest of the poem meaningful to the reader.

In response to the question of how long their commitment will last, the speaker dismisses it as supposedly obvious. Yet it’s a critical question, so the seeming disconnect again draws the reader in, with the unspoken comment of, "Well yes, you absolutely must tell me, because I need to know." So, given the attitude placed into the reader with that thought, it feels as if the poem is directed at us. And that’s a HUGE hook. Right?

The response is 100% allegorical. It says, in effect, “I can’t live without you,” but does it in a pretty and interesting way.

The question/answer sequence then continues with a clever twist, Love will end, but on a date that’s an impossibility.

It’s emotion-based writing that calls up context that already exists in the reader/listener’s mind. But even had they never heard the expression “like roses need rain,” it would be instantly meaningful.

It’s part of a song, but this first verse, for me, is a perfect example of emotion-based poetry.

Let's take it one step further, and look at the FLOW. It's metrical poetry, so it rhymes. But notice that the rhymes aren't the obvious Moon/June type, and the words fit the thought so well that the rhyme seems incidental, an accent rather than a drumbeat. And, each line has the same cadence: seven beats per line that the reader, or singer, will fall into, enhancing the experience.

Make sense?

The problem behind the problem, as I see it, is that for the author, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in our mind. But too often, for the reader, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in *OUR* mind, because we forget to give the context that will make the words meaningful to the reader.

Aside from the great lyrics, it’s a pretty song. The most popular version of it was recorded by Johnny Mathis in 1958 A live recording, later in his career, is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnPnSjCUnc

You might want to read Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. It’s a gem of a book, filled with little bits of wisdom and surprises.

Another, for metrical poetry, is Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled. You might want to sample them on Amazon.

Sorry my news wasn’t better, but given that our own writing always works for us, and we’ll not address the problem we don’t see as one, I thought you might want to know

Posted 1 Week Ago

• Maybe in another, we have

In another…what? The reader can’t read your mind, has no access to your intent, and, confusion cannot be retroactively removed.

In the end, this is you talking to someone unknown about the result of unstated events. What’s in it for the reader? Who cares what someone unknown is telling someone not introduced, when we lack contex to make it meaningful?

Poetry isn’t fact-based it’s emotion-based, with a goal of entertaining the reader. But in this, and most of your posted work, you’re talking TO the reader about what matters to you, without involving them or providing context.

But….the reader comes to you to be made to feel and care, not nod in acceptance. They want to be made to think, not simply nod in agreement.

In poetry we don’t tell the reader we cried at a funeral, we give that reader reason to weep.

You’re pretty consistent with prosody—though the rhyme is often forced: “at the 
wedding altar we stand” Is Yoda-speak, and awkward.

My favorite example of involving the reader is the lyric to the song, "The Twelfth of Never," released in 1957. Look at the opening:
- - - - -
You ask how much I need you, must I explain?
I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain.
You ask how long I'll love you; I'll tell you true:
Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you.
- - - - -
Notice the clever trick played on the reader: The speaker is replying to a question the reader supposedly asked, placing that reader INTO the poem, as the beloved who has asked that question. And since it’s one we might ask of someone who loves us, the answer is inherently interesting (especially since, if it’s a good answer we might use it).

So with “You ask,” and without realizing why, the reader is emotionally involved. That’s brilliant writing, because this one line makes the rest of the poem meaningful to the reader.

In response to the question of how long their commitment will last, the speaker dismisses it as supposedly obvious. Yet it’s a critical question, so the seeming disconnect again draws the reader in, with the unspoken comment of, "Well yes, you absolutely must tell me, because I need to know." So, given the attitude placed into the reader with that thought, it feels as if the poem is directed at us. And that’s a HUGE hook. Right?

The response is 100% allegorical. It says, in effect, “I can’t live without you,” but does it in a pretty and interesting way.

The question/answer sequence then continues with a clever twist, Love will end, but on a date that’s an impossibility.

It’s emotion-based writing that calls up context that already exists in the reader/listener’s mind. But even had they never heard the expression “like roses need rain,” it would be instantly meaningful.

It’s part of a song, but this first verse, for me, is a perfect example of emotion-based poetry.

Let's take it one step further, and look at the FLOW. It's metrical poetry, so it rhymes. But notice that the rhymes aren't the obvious Moon/June type, and the words fit the thought so well that the rhyme seems incidental, an accent rather than a drumbeat. And, each line has the same cadence: seven beats per line that the reader, or singer, will fall into, enhancing the experience.

Make sense?

The problem behind the problem, as I see it, is that for the author, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in our mind. But too often, for the reader, every line acts as a pointer to ideas, memories, events, and outcomes, all stored in *OUR* mind, because we forget to give the context that will make the words meaningful to the reader.

Aside from the great lyrics, it’s a pretty song. The most popular version of it was recorded by Johnny Mathis in 1958 A live recording, later in his career, is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnPnSjCUnc

You might want to read Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. It’s a gem of a book, filled with little bits of wisdom and surprises.

Another, for metrical poetry, is Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled. You might want to sample them on Amazon.

Sorry my news wasn’t better, but given that our own writing always works for us, and we’ll not address the problem we don’t see as one, I thought you might want to know

Rating /100