Chapter Eighteen
We were in the middle of the lesson when Cathy came back. The task that day was to take several different strips of metal, hold them in tongs and burn them under the bunsen burner and note down the reactions. Fun if you like Physics, and also fun because you can have a laugh while you're working, because Mr Hillmew isn't particularly strict. That way, we have more respect for him when he does tell us what to do or if he shouts at us.
Tab, Mewla and I were working together as usual, and Tibbicca, Purla and Tibleau were working just along the bench from us, so we were all chatting amongst ourselves as we worked. Mewbellinne was working with Alimew and Purlibya.
Purlibya has always been quite studious, and she was getting very annoyed with Mewbellinne because she was afraid to go near the burner and she didn't want to pick up any of the metals for fear of getting something nasty on her paws.
The door opened and Cathy came in, looking very pleased with herself.
"Eh up." Purla nudged me with her tongs. "Someone's had some."
We both burst into giggles as Cathy sauntered over.
"Oh my God." she said. "You won't believe what Mewbellinne did this morning. You just won't believe it."
"What?" we all crowded round Cathy. She looked at all our solemn faces and burst into peals of laughter. Mewbellinne heard and looked over. She looked distinctly uncomfortable, and turned away at once.
"Look at her." Tibbicca said. "What the hell did she do?"
"Well, she went up to Greg's office this morning, as we all know." said Cathy. "Apparently she barged in and came straight out with it that she knew there was something going on between Greg and me."
"No!" Tibbicca gasped. "What did he say?"
"Greg's a fantastic actor - he was sitting with his feet up on the desk when she barged in, and he just sat there and never batted an eyelid, and simply denied it all!" Cathy grinned. "I think he was kind-of expecting something like that to happen since Mel and I had that little chat with him. Well, anyway, Mewbellinne insisted that she knew there was something going on, she said she knew he was lying, etc, and he kept denying it, but she wouldn't have it."
"What happened?" Tibleau said.
"Well, Mewbellinne said to him that the only way she would keep quiet about it was if there was something in it for her." Cathy carried on.
"I knew it!" I said. "What did I say in the tutor-room this morning? Blackmail for good grades or favourable reports!"
Cathy looked at me and laughed.
"Um... not quite." she said. "This is where it gets unbelievable. Whatever you do don't burst out laughing or I'll be right in it."
"Well don't keep us in suspense!" Tibbicca took hold of Cathy's paws and shook them. "Come on! Tell us!"
"Well, Mewbellinne told Greg that she wanted something in return for keeping quiet, and he said that he wasn't going to be blackmailed or take any lip from her when there wasn't even anything going on between me and him, then she stepped closer to him, and said "I think you'll want to take this lip" and she tried to get off with him!"
"WHA......" Tibbicca began. Purla clapped her paw over Tibbicca's mouth. Tibbicca's eyes were the size of dinner plates. Purla bit her lip furiously, Tibleau and Tab collapsed in giggles on the bench, and Mewla and I just goggled at Cathy, our mouths hanging open. Then we all looked at each other and burst into wild laughter.
"Ssssshhhh! Sshhhhh!" Cathy said, trying to quieten us all down. "Shut up! I haven't finished yet!"
We all slowly subsided and looked at Cathy.
"Apparently, she sat on his lap, grabbed his tie and pulled him close to her, and tried to get off with him!" Cathy said, trying desperately not to laugh. "He said that he pushed her off right away - he thinks she's really unattractive with all that make-up on, not that he would have let her do anything anyway because it's against the rules and everything..." Cathy looked solemnly at us all and we laughed.
"What happened then?" Tibbicca asked, removing Purla's paw from her mouth.
"He told her that it was totally unacceptable behaviour and that he didn't want to hear anything else about this ridiculous idea that there is something going on between him and me." Cathy giggled. "And he said that if he did, he would be taking serious action. Basically that's about it."
We all burst out laughing. Mewbellinne looked over again and looked distinctly worried when she saw us all crowded round Cathy, laughing and giggling, and Cathy sitting there in the centre, looking very pleased.
"Girls, these metals won't burn themselves!" Mr Hillmew called over. He clearly wasn't cross that we were all sitting giggling.
"They do if you leave them in the fla... ooooooh!" Purla said, and pretended to grab her metal from off the gauze over the bunsen burner. Everyone laughed, even Mr Hillmew.
We all went back to our own benches and carried on working. Mewbellinne was sitting hunched over her bench, writing up notes, while Purlibya sighed in exasperation and carried on burning the metals.
None of us particularly wanted to leave Physics - we had RE next. We always take ages packing away all the equipment at the end of the lesson, but Mr Hillmew has got wise to it over the weeks and starts the packing up earlier and earlier each week. He does it on purpose to be funny - he thinks it's funny that we hate RE!
"Can I come to RE with you?" I heard Mewbellinne ask Purlibya. Purlibya had her back to Mewbellinne at the time, and she pulled a face at Alimew, who was nearby. Alimew bit her lip.
"I suppose so." Purlibya said ungraciously.
***
Our RE room is one of the outside huts near the tennis courts. It's horrible in the winter, really cold, as there are only two radiators in the hut, and as much as we all hate it, there's always a rush to get there first to sit at one of the tables near the radiator.
Our RE teacher, Miss Mewlack, is one of these small, mousy, late-30s-not-married types, and although she looks very meek and mild, she has a hell of a temper.
Cathy and Tab wanted to go and get some food from the tuck shop before RE, so Mewla and I said we'd go straight to to the hut and get one of the warm tables. We hurried off through the snow as best we could.
We needn't have worried. When we got to the hut, Tibbicca and Tibleau were already in there, sat at one of the warm tables. Tibleau had put her bag on the other table.
"We saved it for you." she grinned, as we stomped in, rubbing our paws together.
"Cheers!" I said, and passed her bag back as we sat down.
Two minutes later, the Johnson sisters and Purbelle and Mewlarka came in. Mewbellinne followed, and Purbecca, Purlibya and Alimew came in behind her, pulling faces.
"Oh, damn you!" Purbelle laughed. "You get the radiator tables every wýÿÿÿ‚‘’“”•–—
We giggled. They all sat down.
The boys all came in a minute or so after. Tom was giving Cathy a piggyback, and they were both laughing. Mewbellinne looked at them both in disgust. Tom oput Cathy down and she kissed his cheek lightly.
"Thank you sweetie!"
She and Tab came and sat down.
Miss Mewlack arrived five minutes after. She was late.
"Miss, you're late ... tut tut!" Cathy said, grinning.
Miss Mewlack smiled. She seemed in quite a good mood.
"Cathy, don't you ever stop being cheeky?" Mewbellinne said.
Cathy tilted her head first on one side, then on the other, as if she was considering. She bit her lip and frowned, pretending to think. Then she looked at Mewbellinne.
"No." was her blunt answer. Mewbellinne pulled a face and turned away. Cathy burst out laughing.
"Morning, um..." Miss Mewlack looked down the register, then back at Mewbellinne.
"Mewbellinne Pearson." Mewbellinne said haughtily. Someone made a rude noise. The whole class roared.
Cathy looked round.
"Oh, pardon you, whoever that was!" she laughed. "Well timed, all the same..."
"OK, settle down, everyone." Miss Mewlack said. "I'll do the register, then we're going to look at Buddha."
"Oooh, is he cute?" Tibbicca piped up. The class roared again.
"Depends if your type is a short, fat man with a big nose and a saggy chest, who always sits cross-legged." Miss Mewlack said, smirking. Tibbicca laughed again.
"Oooh, he sounds fantastic!" Mewla grinned.
Suddenly the door flew open and Purla stumbled in, slipping on the wet floorboards. The snow was coming down thicker than ever again outside and it all swirled into the hut with her. Purla slipped and fell against a desk, slamming the door shut with her boot as she did so.
Everyone burst out laughing. We never know if Purla does these things to make people laugh or if she genuinely does silly things.
Purla stood up and composed herself, then looked at Miss Mewlack and merely said "Morning."
We were falling about by this time; even Miss Mewlack was laughing.
"Why are you late, Purla?" she asked.
"Um, well, um, I don't really have a reason ..." said Purla. "Well, I do really - there was a long queue in the tuck shop."
"I see." smiled Miss Mewlack. "OK, well I'll turn a blind eye to it this morning as long as you don't get crumbs or chocolate or sugar or anything else on my tables or on the floor."
"Yes Miss." Purla grinned, and made her way gingerly down to her table. Tibbicca moved up.
"Right then. Where were we?"
"How we want to get off with ... I mean get ON with the lesson." Cathy said. Mewbellinne gave her a sharp look. I nudged Tab and she grinned.
***
The RE lesson didn't go too badly actually. No-one got shouted at, and Mewbellinne was very quiet throughout the whole hour.
After we had finished, we all filed out into the snow and stood about in various groups, debating what to do next.
"Well I think we should go and get some more food." Cathy said. "I need something to keep me going through PE."
"You don't reckon it'll be cancelled then?" Tibbick came over.
"Nah - we should be so lucky!" Purla said. "I saw Ms Hapmew on my way to RE and she was marching past and she said "Alright Purla? All ready for a good brisk game of hockey later on?" with that look on her face that she always has when she's being sarcastic cos she knows we hate hockey!"
We all laughed at the look on Purla's face as she did an impression of Ms Hapmew.
"Oh, Christ." Cathy said. "My last shred of hope - gone!" she grabbed hold of Mewla and buried her head in Mewla's jacket. We all laughed again.
"PE?" Mewbellinne said, wandering over, trying to look as if she was casually interested.
"Yeah. "An hour and a half of hockey." Cathy said. "Didn't you know? Oh yeah - you haven't had your timetable yet, have you? God, what a pain!"
She said this with such seriousness that we all fell about again.
"I bet you haven't got any kit with you or anything!" Mewbellan said. "God - that's gonna be awkward."
"Why?" Mewbellinne was looking a bit panicky now.
"Well, Ms Hapmew goes mad if we forget our kit." I said. "We all hate wearing those silly little gym skirts and we're always trying to get out of it by either saying we've forgotten our kits, or something, and Ms Hapmew knows exactly why we do it, and because she's all for sport and wearing the right stuff, etc, she makes sure we always have our kit by going absolutely ballistic if we don't."
Mewbellinne was silent.
"But she may make an exception because you're new." Alimew said.
"I don't know - two days is enough to get a new timetable." Tab put in.
"Yeah - you should've been given one on your first day." Tibleau said.
"Why don't you go and get one now?" Mewla said. "You should really, cos if any of the teachers hear that you don't have one they probably won't be very pleased cos it means that you won't be prepared for what lessons we have."
"Where do I go for one?" asked Mewbellinne.
"Just go up to ....." began Cathy. "Actually, it'll be easier if I show you. Come with me."
I began to wonder what Cathy was playing at, but knowing Cathy, it was bound to be something that would be funny. She turned and winked at me.
"Can we tag along?" Tibbicca asked. "We've got nothing to do till PE."
"Yeah, may as well." Cathy said.
We all set off. Purlibya's little group of friends said bye to us and set off for the tuck shop. The boys had already gone off somewhere.
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