A Lost Cause: A Paradelle

Traces of lost beauty under woven waves.

Traces of lost beauty under woven waves.

Silver covers hands worn by the world.

Silver covers hands worn by the world.

Under the world, lost hands cover traces of

Woven beauty by waves.

 

A thousand eyes pierce a velvet night.

A thousand eyes pierce a velvet night.

These show the color of rain.

These show the color of rain.

The color of velvet, these eyes

Show a piercing of a thousand night’s rain.

 

Liquid is the quandary laid out ahead.

Liquid is the quandary laid out ahead.

A collaboration of myth and man.

A collaboration of myth and man.

Man is the liquid collaboration of quandaries
laid out ahead and a myth.

 

The color of beauty

A collaboration of laid velvet

A thousand covered myths, the eyes pierce

World’s woven rain.  Man is under the liquid night

Showing of traces out of these lost waves

Ahead and by hands.  A Quandary. 

 

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

This is pretty cool. I'm often amazed by what people can produce within such restrictive and limiting formats; there's so much going on in your piece, even though so much of it is repetition.
I enjoyed the language and imagery that you've used in it.

"Man is the liquid collaboration of quandaries
laid out ahead and a myth."

I'd be interested to know what the rules of a Paradelle are, if you get the time to tell me.

Thanks for sharing this.

p.s. query:
"a thousand night's rain" (nights'...i think)

[Lyla K]

nice pull, I used to play with form a lot and left it behind for the post modern ideals, but after reading this I think I'll go back to playing again.Plus its really nice to see form coming back, its like realistic painting... Thanks for the read, you did an excellent job esp with the ending. BTW have you written a Sestina? i would love to read it

[Marie]

Great job.

[Crazy Cat Man]

perfect

[~ Tex]

Interesting. Unique write.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

i really like the style that you did this... it is a great piece of writing... i enjoyed it a lot

[J. Hampton]

I like the concept of this style
yes...
it is growing on me as I read it again
I would like to see the second & fourth verse be ommitted and I think the building would be just as effective with out being over-kill

very nice really

Blesssssssssssssssss

[Being.john.sweet~The Ev..]

this is amazing, a form i don't think i have been exposed to before, i wonder if i could pull one off...but then i think i like the unique form and enjoy it coming from your pen, yes i think i will leave it at that...man i am in a quandary...sweet write..thank you for sharing this~peace to you~john

[Casey Mckenzie]

I like your paradelle.
This line is my favorite: "A collaboration of myth and man"
You should try another one; the more I write them, the better they turn out.
You could do so much with this form.
^-^

[the eyeball kid]

Good poem.