Rain

On being broken-hearted

Rain

 

Some people say that time is a river

But for me, time stopped in a Puerto Rican rainstorm

On a hot August day many years ago

When you captured my heart

And then cast it aside

Like a broken seashell on the beach

Even now, my memory goes back to that day

To the way I felt when I realized

You would not be back

And I am broken all over again

My passion is poured out,

Like water on the sand

And there is no tide

To wash away the pain

I can forgive the pain you caused me

But I cannot erase the memory

Of the Puerto Rican rain

Upon my hands, my head, my heart

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Beautiful prose filled with emotion, you have captured the broken heart syndrome extremely well. The flow of this is magical and reads so easily sitting in the mind of your reader comfortably. I like your style, I can also identify with your feelings...kudos for this, I loved it.
Cheers,
Helen:-)))

[Carl]

I really liked this peice. It's funny that bad things happen when it rains. All the old films have pouring rain scenes in which love is lost and hearts get broken. Im sad that this is youe experience as well. It would appear from your peice that your heart has been won and lost in the rain. The Puerto Rican rain. I like your sea references Seashell on the beach. Many seashell are beautiful things that people don't see untill the sun hits them. The realisation that he wouldn't be back cut deeply and broke your seashell heart Like the way described your passion being poured out like a water and thier was no tide to wash the pain away.And I love the ending where you say that your are able to forgive the pain but however many washes you have you can't erase the rain from your hands and heart . Strong and honest I hope you find some sun soon great write .

[Libby McKeown]

I love how you stopped time, and really captured a moment. The title is a good counterpoint; rain is movement, but that day is a photograph of sorts. Nothing happens, or has to happen; your feelings about that day and the events thereafter come rushing out, reminiscient of looking at an old photograph. Very nice work.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

so very lovely.. i love the metaphors , ' no tide to wash away the pain..very nice , beautiful
peace
Chloe

[☮]

Heartfelt. "A broken seashell on the beach." - Nice usage.

[Hitman "The Clean..]

This is a poem with a message inside of a message. I like the symbolism.

[Antony]

Excellent, this is so true, we can forgive and we should, it is the only way we can move on with our lives, but we can't forget the piercing heartache we experience. You write with great expression of emotion. Thanks for pointing this in my direction.
Tony

[Windy]

Sad but lovely poem, good flow and imagery, Loved the lines "My passion is poured out like, Like water on the sand And there is no tide to wash away the pain". An emotional write and great read. :)

[BenightedWhispers]

This is fantastic. It has great emotional appeal...one of the most important things to have in a writing. Great job.

[The Morbid The Merrier]

this is lovely. it is so real, like.. i do not know how to explain it. it seems very from the heart the flow is awesome and makes me feel broken hearted. i loved it.