95. Gasoline

I wonder how you'd feel if you read this, which you won't.

He asks me how does it feel

To see the one you love

Looking at you with terror in his eyes

He asks me how does it feel

To watch the one you love

Run in the opposite direction from you

 

And I say it hurts

Like you wouldn’t believe

Every time that he leaves

 

It makes me feel like a monster

Like some kind of freak

It makes me feel so unworthy

 

It makes me feel like a horrible person

It makes me rethink everything

It makes me laugh and cry at the same time

 

Imagine anyone being scared of me

I didn’t think it was possible

But by the way he cowers I know that he is

 

He asks me how does it feel

To see him and know that he loathes you

That he wishes you’d disappear

 

And I say it burns

Like someone poured gasoline on me

And lit me on fire

 

And I say it makes me feel like some kind of beast

That no one could ever love

Like some kind of deadly, contagious disease

 

It makes me feel like I’m ugly

It makes me feel like I’m stupid

It makes me feel like everything is wrong

 

And he asks me how does it feel

To watch him walk away

And I say it feels like giving up