To be your lover!

The days have taken a toll on you, my love,

people have hardened your eyes,

society forced you to wear a mask.

But, when you are with me, a change happens.

It is subtle.

Others might not see.

But, I see you.

Your frown disappears.

Your eyes light up.

Like a child filled with wonder, you gaze at me.

Mesmerized,

in awe.

Oh, to be your lover!

Author's Note

Any constructive commentary that can help me improve my romantic writing?

Reviews

[1 Deep]

I enjoyed the message here. As for constructive criticism, I would say you could try to be a little more obscure and add a little more descriptive details. Every write is different and some are meant to be more obvious so that's just a possible tip. Peace

[Han'ke]

Thank you! Will work on it😊