A Good Night Out

Friday night's litter

blows softly down the street

like vinegar soaked tumble weed

wrapping itself around

the impatient exhausts of

slowly moving traffic.

Intrepid shoppers

side - step the

sweet and sour vomit

artistically splattered on

wet pavements,

sagely avoiding the

urine soaked underpass.

Friday night's miscreants

lie comatose behind

thickly drawn curtains

lest daylight happen upon

pale acned skin,

Ensconced in duvets

that reek of stale sweat,

lager and cigarettes.

torn stockings and

vomit stained shirt...

blissful trademarks

of a good night out.

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

I love "vinegar soaked tumble weed" and "sweet and sour vomit"--both just finely tuned phrases. Has a bit of the ironic, somewhat tongue-in-cheek outlook of the old Jam tune "Saturday's Kids", not to mention something in common subject-wise as well. I think the last two lines are just a bit too direct--I might have gone in a direction underscoring the cluelessness of those who think that's a good night out (although, in fairness, I once had such nights where I had to be assured what a good time I'd had, as I had no way to remember.)

[New Dawn]

Thanks for the review - I don't remeber Jams' saturday's kids , I'll have to check it out. This was inspired by the sight of 'vinegar soaked tumble weed' blowing amongst the cars on a saturday morning as I was driving my kids to a club. It made me reflect on the fact that those who left the mess are blissfully tucked up in dark rooms whilst the rest of the world deals with the aftermath. You could be right about the last lines but at the moment I have no alternative thoughts. I too experienced such nights out and in a few years will no doubt be tut tutting at the antics of my own children. A right of passage I know but far from ' a good night out'. Your review is much appreciated.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Sadly, possibly to be repeated Saturday night. I agree with Ed. Well written, and vivid.

[New Dawn]

thanks claire - glad my friday nights are a lttle tamer than this!

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I enjoy my peaceful ones, that's for sure. :)

[ba_mcfarlane]

Wow, such a skilled and graphic word painting. Jeez, my salad days weren't as wild as that! Well not often. Kudos for this deft write. Love it!

[Ed Hart]

oh how our definition of 'a good night out' changes...nicely written

[New Dawn]

Thank you - I have to agree - haven't had such a night myself since the early 90's - still such evenings are enjoyed each weekend in the village where I live :)