Have I written something other than thee? (Sonnet 3)

Have I written something other than thee?
Thou with cheeks of shade of vermillion sky,
Thou with lips that stops the waves of the sea,
With a voice that sings this sweet lullaby,
Have I written something other than thee?
Thou that forged this feeling in my poor heart,
With a spirit that in cold dreams I see,
Not a second spent, with me doth it part,
My sweet quill bleed for thee and only thee,
Painted her face by the dawning welkin,
Have I written something other than thee?
About Death or fading constellation,
        So long that these words live within my lips,
        Forever my quill and paper shall kiss.

Reviews

[FlatDaddy]

Very nice, and I'm sure it's just an oversight (I do it all the time and get caught up in seemingly endless bouts of making corrections) but I spotted two words that need an "s" either deleted or added:
Line three: "stops" -- delete it
Line nine: "bleed"" -- add it
Sorry, this is really a great piece. I hate to be so picky, but I know you want it to be perfect. I've had to go back and correct errors that readers saw after I've posted a piece. I know, it hurts.
-- FlatDaddy

[The Scholar]

Wonderful sonnet! Every word in it was beautiful.
Definitely giving ol' Shakespeare some competition I see.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I enjoyed this, it is really quite nice. I really enjoy these parts:
"With a voice that sings this sweet lullaby,
Have I written something other than thee?"

"My sweet quill bleed for thee and only thee,"

" So long that these words live within my lips,
Forever thy quill and paper shall kiss."

[enroc]

soooo pretentious. I feel like this poem is looking into a mirror and complementing itself.

[Prophecy]

What a great sonnet Dan, I forgot how much I enjoyed such reads.

[Slim Pikkens]

What a delightful dance of words you have summoned together! Descriptive phrases like "vermillion sky", " thy sweet quill bleed for thee" and "by the dawning welkin" make this sonnet a scrumptious mental treat for readers. Good on ya, mate!

[DearSweetAgony]

Very well written, this poem is phenomenal is every form or fashion! The second line surprised me and the other stanzas kept me reading. I LOVE your use of similes, they work flawlessly in this write!
Well done, I loved this write!