The Old Outerlands

This is my first poem that I made up on the spot, so don't laugh no matter how terrible!

Lights flooded as people sang,
children laughed and bells rang.
Your parents' parents' might've known,
the place where all the lights shone.

 

Now it's really bleak and dark,
and nobody plays at the park.
I walk across the small park bench,
and all I can see is an old wrench.

 

I pick it up and put it down,
down, down, down like everybody's frown.
I almost smile at the sight,
of a small puppy who just wants to stay the night.

 

I let him in, with a wink,
and something inside me begins to think.
Where are the happy things that made this city shine?

Author's Note

Ugh...it's terrible. I drew the stars in the picture, too, even though they're terrible.

Reviews

[Morrigan Nicole]

this is not terrible, don't kid yourself. I loved it! brilliant. i agree. i have a few works like this. similar in the message, anyway. the only flaw i can see, is the last stanza, fit in another line to rhyme with 'shine'. the rhyming was my favorite. oh, and your profile picture, love it too, looks like one of our horses, Sophie... whom i absolutely hat. dumb as a rock. thank god she's not mine. what kind of a horse? paint? can't tell from the pic.