a question of compatibility, maybe

the family of an old love asked:

do you have to be so analytical?

 

and I walked out, because:

drowning in the Romantic

impressions

of the Right hemisphere

is not enough. It is the Left

that gives action to the voice.

 

and I would be no-one's slave,

in any color or context

or tied again to a whipping post

of truncated desires given

over to the heavy handedness

of others, of free will.

 

being informed is power-

not power over, power from

being powered over;

forever, by anyone.

 

at my table, we DO talk of:

sex. politics. religion. physics.

the emotional life of whales,

in large and small doses;

the goings-on of those no longer

called "third world,"

since we are all on some

path of human enlightenment

or development anyway.

 

We ask the hard questions

in my home, or I leave home

and find a new home, the

terminal wanderer, maybe

never satisfied with any

application that would not use

all of my respective parts.

 

Being with me is simple, really:

 

I want to be part of the moral

discussions that will shape

my progeny's faith and lives.

 

make me a space of my own

out beyond the horizon

that they told our grandmothers

was the limit of their world:

and then meet me there.

Reviews

[kmartell]

oh yes. when one finds how much effect we can have on those around us with our words, and how little they "they" listen.
I needs find ways to meditate, oh not the little "lets breathe and do it again" meditation either, but where one breath is a life, and another is death. then you might begin to get it. oh what am I even saying. I tire of those family around me, trivial trivial and love them and try and be part of things just the same of course.

it this about what this poem is? attempting to keep yourself?

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you for the kind words and review, kmartell. I am sorry I had to take soem time away, and am just now getting back to you. This poem is exactly about keeping oneself. Being authentic- not unchanging, not inflexible, but authentic- to what is true inside. And what you are describing is walking meditation, active meditation- meditation that suffuses all daily acts. When we hit it, we know we have hit our stride. It has been a while since I felt it, but I strive for it daily in my own life and work.

Love and light to tyou tonight, k. thank you again. sorry I was overwhelmed and unable to respond for a while. Hopefully, never again.

[Jaweena...Eileen Quinta..]

I love how your soul shines through this writing. You are definitely a kindred spirit....loved the message and your courage to give voice to it.

[Marie Anzalone]

Jaweena, I feel exactly the same way when I read your work, my friend. Thanks for the review, and for taking the time to read and leave it. It means much.

[LJW]

Holy F**k.

First: You have a mind like a machine.
And the heart of a wide-eyed child who perhaps has seen too much; who has climbed up to hide behind the apparent safety of the cogs and wheels. The quintessential scientist.

Second: I am giving up writing. The finest words ever written have been written....

make me a space of my own
out beyond the horizon
that they told our grandmothers
was the limit of their world
and then meet me there

Best lines I have read anywhere.

Guess I'll have to take up painting?

[Marie Anzalone]

You would be an awesome painter. But I tell you, there is even less recognition in painting than there is in writing. trust me. You are better off sticking with the writing. At the very least, when you open your own veins to use as art materials, writing requires less at a time than a full painted canvas does.

And maybe I am the scientist, but at heart I am and always will be the poet. it's mighty troubling. Life would be so much simpler if I could just be one thing or the other. But then, who knows what then? You and I would not have crossed paths, maybe, and my life would not have been so changed by your words. You see, I think you have written some of the finest words ever penned. I read your honesty and feel like I could write for 10,000 years and never get close to what you have. I think maybe the people we admire most in their craft are supposed to make us feel that way?

[emmajoy]

Compatibility is a re-arrangement of people trying to meld their individuality into something else, don't you think? Tis often a word used in hushed tones but here you sing it out in quite plain but regal terms, dear friend. Do you think, as we develop, age, the mind's growth is compatibile to its own heavily burdened body? Does it sometimes need- through time, to calm, take time out, then, step back into a gentler stream of thought and learning perhaps. Just as the world wasn't made in a day, maybe it takes human kind longer to be than one single lifetime. Not disagreeing with you, in fact i go along with much of what you've 'said', but tossing in a two pennyworth
Your posts inevitably take me back to uni days and times when people had time to agree to disagree then, wonder of wonder, sometimes change sides ad infinitum!

[Marie Anzalone]

Yet compatibility, or its lack, is the glue that either holds a relationship together or the force that drives it apart. I am talking about basic core values, styles, needs- that must be fulfilled either by a partner or by another. I think we learn through time that some things are much more important than others- the deal-breakers, if you will. It is only through painful experience that we realize there really can be no compromise on deal breakers. Some people enjoy a life of strife. Many women want a daddy figure to guide them. I am not that woman. I want a partner who can keep up, and I need a spiritual, intellectual, and emotional equal/ mate/ partner/ companion. The other "stuff" is negotiable.

when you've lost in love as much as I have, some 18 times, you start to value the wisdom of looking for a compatible mate, of learning you cannot live as a contortionist when it comes to your values.

[emmajoy]

Maybe we need accept the fact that being human beings, both have flaws and qualities. Assessment and analysis isn't part of the equation in love, it's acceptance. not competition, it's foolish cosy rather than the caustic, the cuddle rather than the criticism. It's too easy to find someone then try to turn him or her into what's essential to needs. Perhaps?

Hugs, love.. so hope you're now finding calm and rest.

[Marie Anzalone]

My own experience has been that although it is nice to think so, not any two human beings can make things work with enough love, patience, and sacrifice. In some ways, my Indian friend with their arranged marriages have it easier- the families consider compatibility from the outset as a rule, where we get blinded by chemistry, and call that love. Chemistry and the heart bring you to each others' doors, I think- but the head tells you the wisdom of getting involved, or what level to get involved at. Like all human activities, analysis, like blind love, can be taken to an extreme, made a fault. In the end, you are absolutely right... there are no guarantees. at some point you either dive in or risk standing on docks watching other people's ships sail by all the time.

Rest and calm are not in my immediate future, but thank you, I am slowly recovering my mental and emotional strength. The past 6 months took a lot more out of me than I thought. I am quietly recovering from a near total nervous breakdown. wrote a little bit about it today. Part of the scenery, I guess. :-/

[emmajoy]

You demand too much of yourself, love. I truly wish you could find a gentle place, and a slower pace. Please try. And yes, writing sometimes helps with the moving about of scenery. (You)

[Marie Anzalone]

I really tried for this year to keep it reasonable... saved up enough money to live off for the year, if I was careful, giving myself the time and rest I needed. That did not work out, and I am struggling to hold onto my dreams and keep a roof over my head. I keep hoping things will slow down again, soon. As soon as I have an income again, I can take a deep breath. It is hard to enjoy the scenery when you are in survival mode all the time.

[emmajoy]

It must be, really must be. Had a slightly similar time way back when my wreck of a cottage was being renovated plus was at uni.. had people to help though, but sometimes was dragged down with trying to cope. You're in a different situation though, i know that, love.. God willing the wind will blow in a different direction fairly soon. (((You)))

[Marie Anzalone]

Thank you so very much.. yes it is a tough situation, and I am glad you had the support when you needed it. I guess the biggest lesson for me is that I DO need the support sometimes, as much as I try to go on without it. You are far wiser than I in this regard, maybe. Learning to accept help... hardest lesson of my life, maybe. I hope your prayer works for us down here, helps us out. YOU are wonderful, my dear.

[emmajoy]

Re help.. ask yourself a question., dear R., if someone you care about, know, needed your help, would you give it, best you could? No need to answer, I know. Hence, therefore, QED., accept help. :))))

[Marie Anzalone]

yeah, but it's **different** with me ;-)

[LJW]

Maybe you're running. Hiding. If you seek help, you will be found and then what?

[Marie Anzalone]

good question, great insight. maybe we get to the point where we have been running so long, we do not know how to live on a world that suddenly stands still?

[The Analog Kid]

This is really wonderful. It is straightforward. This is what makes a great woman.. in my opinion.

[Marie Anzalone]

Sorry for the delayed response, AK. I have been severely depressed and extraordinarily busy, even for me.

The concept seems like it should be so straight-forward, doesn't it? Yet when we get done mixing the bias and overpainting some prejudice and using the stencils of normative constraints, we get something very different in the end than what we set out to find. At least that has been my experience.