Old Crow

I expected you last night,
I believed your intentions were to wake me.
However, I woke up at light.

You were gone, so was the old crow.

I was confused,
since I gave you my one gift, that only one man could know.

The old crow presuaded you to leave, didn't he?

"Quickly while she's fast asleep!"

He helped you fly on, away,

to mingle at another party.

He helped give you words of love & promises,

that are actual lies.

But the old crow was no where in sight when my dignity was raped.
You didn't need help for that,

& to my astonishment, no one has made me feel as cheap as you.

I feel sorry for the old crow being at my house that night.

You wouldn't have come.
& I wouldn't wake at light searching for reasons why.

Author's Note

Comments?

Reviews

[kewlbluetiger]

Interesting twist to this one, to use the "old crow" as the scapegoat. That's what makes this poem so likable that I read it twice over. That line: "since I gave you my one gift, that only one man could know." really sets the tone for anger and confusion, and really puts us in tune with the feelings intended in the last line. The search through the night's events for that one reason why not found. Fantastic, well thought-out write. I really enjoyed it. Can't wait to read more.

[Subjective Sanity]

This is very powerful. I think it speaks to a lot of girls. Oftentimes we can not put it into words as nicely as you did. I think it shows a healthy perspective. It is very wise. I love it!

[deeps]

Now this one I found a little cute.
This is wonderful and a delite to read.

[The Analog Kid]

I like the way the "Old Crow" did most of the dirty work. Nice, short and powerful poem. I like it a lot.

Patrick

[bluessadmood]

oh this was so nice..
so he left ..no manners and no appreciation
looking for another party..i would have stayed..i loved those eyes
loved to see them wake and shine..they are so different and lovely in early morning
those eyes told me thousands of things ..i would never leave them for the world
you never lost your dignity you just acted like any human..he lost all respect..he was ugly
i really loved your stories..little ones ,lovely ones
lovely write..

[Tracie Skarbo]

& I woulnd't wake ---I just found this one small typo in the last line...

I like this, it reminded me of that fairytail about the fox and the crow and how the fox would tell the crow of her beauty and such, then he wanted to hear her beautiful voice and the cheese fell to the fox...I suppose the crow learnt her lesson... but I was always sad for the crow...such a hard lesson to learn. Great job on this!

[Aussie]

Dang! Intense... I felt angry and sad. Totally felt a "slap-in-the-face" kind of thing,you know? Great work(:
(yet again, surprise surprise!)

[Emily B]

old crow . . . preferred whiskey of one old man I know, it was around during the civil war, you know

I say let the idiot go with the bottle . . . find yourself somebody worth keeping.

[Colin Stewart]

THIS IS SO DARN GOOD I FORGOT TO GO THE BATHROOM!!
AND YES AT: thepoeticminds.ning.com (poetry, literature and dreams) WE ARE LOOKING FOR DARING BOLD GIFTED PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO LIGHT UP OUR MARQUEE.
WE ARE ALSO COMMENT CRAZY - WE GIVE AWAY GOOD REVIEWS BECAUSE IT'S IN OUR BLOOD TO DO SO...... AND YOU ARE A CREATIVE ANOMALY WHO SHOULD AND WILL BE APPRECIATED BY PEOPLE LIKE US.....

[Emily]

Well written, and it feels very real, which is often hard to do when you write.
It feels like an experience rather than a story, so very good job.