Breaking the Block

The ghost of you consumes me,

I go to move on but your memory eludes me.

It's sucking the breath from my lungs,

my spirit.

It's dragging me back,

to the shell of the robot I use to be.

It's dragging me to the deep end,

where I can't figure out which way is up or down.

I'll drown out here,

Please, let me go.

Let me move on now.

Author's Note

A quick write to get me back on track of poetry since I haven't wrote anything in weeks.

Reviews

[Hippy]

i like it i am not sure but i think you mean can't instead of can on the 3rd from bottom line good write though reminds me of some other poem of mine i think push the air into my lungs you should check it out and this is good but i feel you could add more and cut the lines up smaller like here on these two lines i think it helps for a better flow

It's dragging me back
to the shell of the robot I use to be.

It's dragging me to the deep end
where I can figure out which way is up or down.


even cutting some words out would be ok here good poem though keep it up

[Chloe Christine]

i havent written a good piece in about two months. i find that tragedy makes it easier for me to write. this is very good, and helps you get backk into the track of things. maybe i should try? good write(:

[MusicJunkie66]

I loved the imagery you use and how you said: "it's sucking the breath from my lungs". awesome description, great job!

[Breezie Kae]

Wow, this is good. It's deep and kind of abstract, but still relatable.

[MattWheatus]

Dark yet romantic, I think this has a lyrical feel. The line "where I can't figure out which way is up or down" casts such a clear image in my mind of being lost underwater, holding my breath in the deep end.

[Tracie Skarbo]

I like this... it expresses that new stage of breaking things off when your heart is confused about the sudden absence and your new routines have not yet taken root. wonderful job!

[Casper Cross]

Good poem, can't write poetry myself so it is hard for me to critique but I enjoyed the dark yet soothing tone of your work.

[VioletRose]

This was a good and sad poem!

[Titan]

I enjoy the flow of this poem. The words roll of your tongue, and some of the phrases almost seem to rhyme, but they don't. Very effective. As for the subject matter, it is quite vague but good nonetheless. The succinct style of your work is great. :)

[Huggy Bear]

Interesting poem. I like your direction:)